To the Mom Who Forgot Her Worth

It's so easy to forget our worth and to just feel like we want to quit.
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You've got this.

That's what I needed to hear.

Oh my, that's what I needed to hear.

I wanted to be seen.

To be reminded that somehow motherhood is this brave thing.

To be told that, in spite of those kids who yell I hate you because I took away the computer or who dislike the dinner that I spent 30 minutes making, all the negotiating, rule-setting and dealing with little people who don't like rules matters.


I know people will tell you and me all the time that it's just motherhood and everyone has had to do it before and just suck it up and do it and it's no big deal, but I'm telling you, there are days when being a mom is this crazy bit of brave, even though it can leave us standing over a sink full of dishes wondering if we are really worth it and if there really is a grand point to this thing called motherhood.

It's so easy to forget our worth and to just feel like we want to quit.

What I've learned about bravery is that oftentimes it takes someone on the sidelines cheering for you and reminding you that you can indeed keep going -- someone to show you everything you've accomplished and to remind you that all the late nights and feedings and rocking and driving and giving all matter.

I wonder about you.

You, reading these words of mine that I typed sitting up in my room after one of those motherhood days that felt like a whole lot of tiring limbo living and not much bravery and a bunch of problem solving. There was no grandiose story and no crafts and no fabulous dinner and no sports and no family movie and in general nothing amazing. Somehow in my head I always thought life would have these grand crescendos and amazing Disney-quality moments, and there I was, stuck sitting in a life which just felt so, well, like this is life? and am I doing enough? and does anyone even see?

And then I remember moments like this.


And that is what makes me write to you. Because I know you have moments like this tucked into the fabric of your ordinary that get lost in those crazy motherhood days that make us all wonder about value and worth -- and we just plain forget.

We forget about the love they have and how we matter and how we are worth it to them.

Even when they aren't perfect, which means, well, they're kids.

I think in a way we exist in a world that either tells us how hard everything is, as we sit in a vat of lamenting goo and leave feeling even more overwhelmed -- or we're told, press on you're strong you can do this I believe in you, and we're thinking that we just need someone to understand or step in and help and give us a shoulder to cry on.

So let me be a voice, another person who is willing to admit that she gets it so that you can remember, too. Because you know what? I know that even though we have feelings of being overwhelmed and tired, we really do love our kids.

You've got this.

I know.

Really simple, cheerleader-type words. Kind of rah rah rah yay we've got this -- let's make dinner again and put them to bed and fold laundry and start again -- yay! But sometimes we need to hear it. Like tonight, I would have loved to have remembered that when my 8-year-old yelled MOM!! for the fourth time in an hour over some way his brother looked at him and took items while playing Minecraft (I have a love/hate relationship with that game, by the way). Or when the full half-gallon bottle of Lipton Iced Tea fell out of the fridge without the lid that should have been replaced by my 10-year-old, and splashed all over the floor I had just washed. Or when there was defiance over a room to clean -- again. Or a whole bunch of other normal motherhood stuff that made me just want a moment to blink my eyes and make it magically 11 p.m.


But I kept going. Wiped the floor and had the wisdom of Solomon in negotiating Minecraft fairness and cleaned up a room and talked about respect and kept on going.

That is so much worth right there.

Don't you ever forget that power and worth in keeping on going when you've just had enough. Don't you forget worth when you rock those babies or you are tired or you're talking with a doctor demanding answers. Don't you forget worth when you say stay in your room for the eleventh time, or when you drop your teen off at that dance and want to walk inside. Don't doubt you.

You have amazing value.

So I'll say it again.

You've got this.

Yes, you. You, the one who might have messed up this morning. You, the one who hates laundry. You, the one who tucks tears back in your eyes many times and wishes the 3-year-old would just go to bed. You, the one with that teen who looks at you like you're an idiot. You, the one who has to work late but wishes you could be home, and struggles with guilt. You, the one who skips pages reading books. You, the one who takes the long way just so you can have a moment.

You. Their mom.

You are worth it. You are worth it if the kitchen is messy or you're fed up or you just want a break or you get exasperated over clothes stuffed in the corner or you just are tired or you just want to know you matter.

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to measure up. You don't have to sit in worry. You don't have to feel alone. You don't have to question your worth.

You, my friend walking on this motherhood journey, you are worth it.

And you've totally, one hundred percent got this.


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