Dear beautiful mother,
The holidays have caught us again, but this time, they’re vastly different. And I’m here to tell you—it’s going to be ok. We are all going to be ok, even though it may not feel that way in this very moment.
I know your heart breaks when you think about a lonely Christmas morning staring at a tree in anticipation of their arrival or a solo New Year’s Eve wondering if you’ll ever have that midnight kiss again. I know the pain of trying to piece together a Thanksgiving gathering that feels like tradition even though it’s anything but this year. I know the empty hole that aches when you put your kiddos’ laundry away, but feel the coolness of their bedroom because it’s been days since their warm little bodies laid in their beds. I know the anxiety that comes with thinking you’ve let them down by not being a part of their every day, especially their holiday.
Reminder: They love you.
I know you may ruminate and play out the entire relationship with their father over and over again in your head. “Could I have done anything differently? Should I have stayed longer? Where did it go off the rails? How did I not see the signs? Was I ever really in love?”
Reminder: You will forgive and you will let go.
But, yet here we are. And we got here most likely for a very, very, very good reason. If you’re relating, then you’re probably a deep thinking, deep feeling woman. You didn’t wake up one morning and make these life-altering decisions; but rather, they came from a deep sense of knowing what wasn’t right, what wasn’t healthy, what wasn’t to be accepted or modeled for your little ones, or your big ones. In these tough moments, kindly remind yourself of those thoughts. The bravest, most truest path is often times the toughest path. Hang in... January will soon be here (perhaps that’s not much consolation...).
Reminder: You’re still getting used to your new normal.
And maybe it will never feel normal because it will feel different. And isn’t that the point? Things have to be different so they have the chance to be better.
This is now your season of becoming—of becoming all the joy, all the love and all the happiness you once were. You are unbecoming all the things that slowly consumed you and suffocated your spirit. The things that are not you and do not belong to you. The things that have held you down and held you back for too long. You are healing, you are growing and you are perfectly imperfect. And that is ok, too.
So let’s take a collective inhale of kindness towards ourselves, and a collective exhale of whatever you need to release. We’ve got this.
