Baby Boomers,
Yesterday we talked about staying to the right when traveling because staying to the right is the right thing to do.
I know you can choose to do whatever you want because everyone has civil rights.
There is no such thing as civil lefts.
Ask yourself, are you on the right path?
Do you make the right choices?
Have you ever been at the right place at the right time?
It's probably because you were walking on the right side of the street.
Things happen right now.
We eat right.
We have the right to work.
We have the right to free speech.
You can't have the left to remain silent.
The customer is always right.
Women are always looking for Mr. Right.
He probably walks on the right side of the hallway when you pass him.
No one wants to be left behind, left out or left for dead.
If you don't like my recommendation to travel to the right then check with your "Bill of Lefts" to see if there is anything you can do about it !!!
So, today I offer you my second CRAZY cruise travel tip that goes hand in hand with my first travel tip from yesterday that you always walk on the "right" side.
CRAZY CRUISE TIP #2
Stand Your Ground When Walking on the Right Side
That's right, if you have made a solid commitment to walk on the "right" side in your travels then I encourage you to "stand your ground" and maintain your position in the face of opposition. Why not turn a mundane activity like walking into your own personal, fun, action packed game........football perhaps or hockey or even rugby. I mean, who doesn't long for a little scrum while on vacation?
I'm not saying to purposely assault your fellow travelers by running them over like a fullback but using a well-placed shoulder nudge, elbow dig, hip brush, deranged grunt or evil stare to move the blockheads that are walking right at you on "the wrong side" can actually bring a little bit of enjoyment to your day.
Remember they are stubborn and in most cases not even aware that they are making life difficult for those around them. I know it's not the most civil way to treat your fellow man but if handled properly it can be a lot of fun. If it is civility you want, then, maybe we should teach this skill to our children early on in school.
You may think I am "Crazy" for suggesting this but I'm not the only person on this planet that feels this way about standing your ground when walking on the "right" side.
On the "Wired" website there is a "How To" Wiki on making your way through a "stubborn" crowd when walking on the "right" side.
This article recommends two courses of behavior very similar to my suggestions:
1. Put your shoulder into it.
OK, have you ever lived through this scenario?
You're working your way through a crowd to get somewhere quickly. All of a sudden, there's someone up ahead who doesn't like how presumptuous you look as you use your basic crowd-navigating techniques. They're showing all the signs of refusing to cooperate or choose an obvious side so as to let you go through quickly.
What to do?
As you get closer to them, straighten your body upright and then swivel a bit so that your shoulder is now in front as you walk. Don't just turn, but place the mass of your body behind that shoulder.
This will do two things for you. First, it will send a visual signal that you do not want to play games. They can choose a side to walk on and you will go where they don't, but if they will not readily let you pass then you will shoulder them out of the way.
Most "gamers" in this context will move aside and let you pass.
Second, this sets you up for the rare case that someone refuses to acknowledge your desire to get by and continues to walk straight down a narrow passage way, expecting you to somehow magically disappear.
If you put that shoulder into it properly and they do not waver, then go on ahead and let them bounce of that shoulder. Your weight and that shoulder will move them out of the way with minimal interruption to yourself, and set the gamer/hater staggering to the side.
Try to suppress commentary or laughter and do not look backwards to see if they want a confrontation.
2. Imply eye contact.
If you prefer to eschew physical contact all together, then I find that staring off into the distance just over the intruding person's shoulders gives them the impression that you mean business and are not moving out of there way.
Some types of crowds may require alternate techniques.
While the aforementioned tactics may work in most instances, trying to navigate a busy island street packed with foreign shoppers or distracted tourists is another matter.
To grab the attention of a wandering dawdler who is clearly oblivious to your approach, try staring directly at the crown of his/her head.
Humans have an innate ability to sense when someone is looking at them, and your stare will trigger that response, causing them to look back at you.
Upon realizing that you are not making eye contact them, but beyond them, they will often move aside.
Let me make one thing clear about my second "Crazy" cruise tip, I am not condoning any real violent behavior. We don't need to read about your "buffet line rage" or "hallway rage" in the ship newspapers.
Surprisingly, I found out that researchers believe this concept of "sidewalk rage" is real.
One scientist has even developed a "Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome Scale" to map out how people express their fury.
Go figure.
At its most extreme, sidewalk rage can signal a psychiatric condition known as "intermittent explosive disorder," researchers say.
Don't believe me? Well, on Facebook, I found a group called "I Secretly Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Back of the Head" that boasts over 900 members.
Does this mean I could become incredibly popular by creating a Facebook group called "I Secretly Want to Punch People Walking on the Left in the Face?"
So, fellow Baby Boomers I shout out from the Lido Deck : "Stand up for your Right of Way."
It's the "right" thing to do.
Do you think my less than honorable attitude toward crowds will continue in tomorrow's "Crazy" cruise tip?
Why not pay a visit and we'll discuss the trial and tribulations of standing in lines.