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Top 10 Flirty Text Messages

You met the love of your life. (Again) Time to text. But what? "How are you?" "Nice to meet you?" Yes, show them you have the personality of a Kansas zip code.
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You met the love of your life. (Again) Time to text. But what?

"How are you?"

"Nice to meet you?"

Yes, show them you have the personality of a Kansas zip code.

You start typing and... BRAIN FART! You can't think of anything clever! You're as nervous as Paris Hilton on Jeopardy. You're shaking like a martini. You get "texter's block." You don't know what to do.

Relax, here are my top ten flirty text messages you can send to your future ex-wife or husband. Not all of these funny text messages are instant, out-of-the-box, copy-paste-and-send creatures -- you'll have to modify them to your situation. But even if you can't use them as is (or at all) they'll help ignite ideas.

Whether you're texting a girl or a guy, always be mindful of how they're feeling about you. At the risk of stating the obvious, you shouldn't send a flirty text to somebody who's demonstrably lukewarm to you. They'll shut you down faster than a unionized WalMart.

The 10 best flirty texts below are taken from my private collection (yes, I collect them the way other people collect stamps) and they're intended for people who are so hot for you they can hear the hiss when they think of you.

  1. You: Stop!


Likely Reply: Stop what?


You: Stop thinking about me. See, you're doing it... right... now.

  • I could drink a case of you and still be on my feet.
  • You: 192y - (62*84) = 12x + 45y solve for x and then graph
    Likely Reply: ???
    You: You make me harder than algebra.
  • You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line.
  • I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
  • I think we should just be friends with sexual tension.
  • Whenever I see you I feel like a dog dying to get out of the car.
  • If I'd have held you any closer I'd be in back of you.
  • I wish I were on Facebook so I could poke you.
  • I want you like JFK wanted a car with a roof.
  • Mike Alvear is the author of
    The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People
    , available for instant download at www.flirtytextmessagehelper.com/ebook
    .