McDonalds, that fast food giant that specializes in giving us both sensory ecstasy and heartburn at the same time, just announced that its earnings plummeted by 30% this last quarter! I thought the golden arches were supreme, so what gives?
Here are the Top 10 reasons why McDonalds is in some deeeeeeep fried oil:
10. People finally figured out that the Chicken McNuggets are really Cat McNuggets.
9. Its cows caught Ebola.
8. Ronald McDonald was arrested for tax evasion.
7. Its employees demanded a living wage (the nerve of those bastards!),
6. Old McDonald (the one who had a farm) sued McDonalds for trademark infringement.
5. Chipotle unveiled the Big Mexican which looks exactly like the Big Mac but with a Latin flavor.
4. Michelle Obama launched a War against Fast Food to replace the War on Drugs.
3. Bill Clinton stopped eating there.
2. Its workers all moved to Canada to work at Burger King.
...and the #1 reason that McDonalds is in trouble:
1. Netflix just launched its new TV show: Vegetables are the New Chicken.
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