So I've been watching my single friends for several years now play the dating game. Dare I even call it a "dating game"?! The game part is right but the dating part is a joke. What happened to real men? You know...men that are gentlemen. Men that still have some moral decency and know how to treat and talk to a woman. The horror stories I hear are beyond any rational thinking.
I don't envy my SDM friends. It's a tough scene out there, especially when you have kids and want to protect them as well. I am referring here to my single friends that are in their 40s. They are mature, know what they want, and are secure with who they are as a woman and what they deserve. They are looking for someone to grow old with. Someone to laugh with, enjoy time with, someone they can trust with their heart!
After hearing their stories, struggles and plight in search of a decent man I thought I'd help them out. So here are some rules for the single men out there who really want to find a GOOD woman:
1. Bring back chivalry! Hold the door open for her. Buy dinner (do not let her pay for her half). Walk her to the door at the end of the night. If you need ideas, watch an old Cary Grant movie! Women love a true gentleman.
2. Be honest! If you are 5'6", please don't say you are 5'11" in a dating profile or in a conversation. Or don't say you are 40 when you are really 50. Eventually when you meet, you'll be seen as a liar. What else will you lie about?
3. Compliment her! Don't call her "hot" or "sexy". Please! A woman wants to feel beautiful and pretty and intelligent. Calling her hot or sexy says that you are only interested in her body - not her or her mind.
4. Be interested in her! Don't carry on about yourself and all of your accomplishments. Ask her questions about her life and her kids. If she has kids - they are part of the package and you better understand that right away.
5. Don't leave her hanging! The worst is when a guy makes plans to do something during the week after a first date and then bails! Tacky tacky tacky. Don't make plans unless you are sure you can follow through with them. If you are not interested - don't make plans. If you are unsure, make the plans and give it a second try. You never know!
6. Don't talk bad about your Ex! This should be a no-no for the first of many dates. Nobody wants to hear your woes and complaints. Remember, she is an Ex and so are you. It makes everyone feel uncomfortable - so just refrain from it until you know each better before unwrapping that baggage.
7. Laugh! Dates should be fun. Laughter is important in all relationships. Let her see your fun side, she will probably find it endearing.
8. Don't stalk her! This should be obvious but some times you get so excited about a good date that you overdo it and blow up her phone afterwards. Be sure to give her ample space to make sure the feelings are mutual. Don't force or push it.
9. Put the phone away! Your cell phone should be put away and ringer off during a date. The only exception would be if a close family member is in a medical situation that may require immediate assistance. Give her all your attention - she deserves it.
10. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Bottom line....respect her, her time and her heart. Don't mess with any of these things if you are not really ready or interested in a real relationship.
I hope there are still good men out there. I strongly believe there are - as I keep telling my SDM friends! Don't give up! I would assume dating at this day and age is similar to sales training....you may only get only 1 out of 10 possible "yeses". But when you get that "1" it can be awesome!
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