So, you started a new business - your own business, you are the first and only entrepreneur in your family, and the only one in your social circle that has taken a plunge into self-employment.
Ever wonder why you’re getting the cold shoulder from family and friends - people who you thought would be the BIGGEST supporters in your newfound passion project?
The reality is, when we begin to be bold and start to step into our dreams, we are taking a chance at being loved - or being shunned.
I can’t begin to tell you how important it is for us to protect our attitude and frame of mind, especially as we start out in our businesses. Understanding why people are the way they are, allows us to forgive and move past what we might feel is holding us back from truly fulfilling our life’s purpose.
We can’t control the way our loved ones act towards us, the only thing we can do is to choose to react in a way that serves our positive well-being.
Based on my own experience and understanding of this sad reality, I have compiled the top 3 reasons why your biggest supporters will be strangers and not your friends or family.
(1) Sometimes our friends and family can become intimidated by us. When we begin to step into our power, we surprise people around us, especially those who know us to be a “certain way.” When we start making some noise and our confidence pushes us to take risks, this can alarm our family and friends, who may not know how to react to the “new” you. Some may even feel that by supporting you in your journey to success that you will “change” and forget about them in the process. Clearly, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who feels intimidated.
Don’t allow the lack of support from your family and friends deter you from following your bliss. Maybe they’ll come around and warm up to the new “you,” maybe they won’t.
Live your life the way that makes you feel truly alive and those who appreciate your sense of courage will light your way.
People you meet, strangers who become acquaintances and acquaintances who turn into friends are likely to have less judgement over you - they don’t know your past, they only get what they see, and for some, who you are today does not threaten them in anyway.
(2) We are expressing a side of ourselves they wish they could, but for some reason, feel they can’t. Some people just don’t realize how uncomfortable it is for us to “live out our dreams,” and stand-out from the crowd. They don’t see the day to day struggle of stepping outside of our comfort zone to make a difference in this world because all they see is this effortless, “pretty perfect world” that we are living, which is not precise at all. Anyone chasing their dreams can feel excited, powerful and confident all at the same time, while being scared as hell, frustrated and alone.
If only they knew what it was really like for us, maybe then, they would realize that we are just trying to live our lives to the fullest, looking to feel supported.
The reality is, when someone feels like they can’t have something you have, it is normal for them to be distant towards you, only because what you have is a reminder of what they don’t have - be it self-confidence, a thriving business, a newfound love.
Forgive them anyway. Love them hard. And keep fuckin’ moving!!!
Have you ever noticed how quickly you can build rapport with someone you meet for the first time, who shares the same interests as you and you simply “click”? You “click” for a reason and the reason is that they have caught the “vibe” you are putting out there. Those who catch onto “your vibe” are likely to be similar to you and when you are exuding confidence, they can’t help but catch the “vibe” that exists within themselves. This is where the MAGIC happens!
(3) They simply don’t get it. I mean, how can you take such a big risk, be so vulnerable, open, bold and so courageous?? Don’t you want to play it safe? Some people in our lives are comfortable where they are in their own life; they are happy with who they surround themselves with and content with the life they have created for themselves. Someone who “dares to be different,” who wants MORE out of life and reaches for it, however, is often misunderstood by people who are complacent in Life.
Don’t waste your time trying to convince them to see what you see - they are entitled to their own opinion on how to live, and so are you.
It is exhausting and energy-consuming to convince people of your perspective and where you’re coming from. Instead, wish them well and keep doing YOU! The world awaits your brilliance...
So, there you have it! I’ve had this conversation with too many people who were struggling with trying to “convince” their family and friends in supporting him/her, that I had to write about it. The minute I put myself in his/her shoes and tried to understand an unsupportive family member or friend’s perspective - was the day I realized that it had nothing to do with me at all.
Liberate yourself from acceptance - and focus on the cheerleaders in your Life. After all, what you focus on expands…. and you were meant to do BIG THINGS!
Sending you so much love + light,
Mindset Coach & Business Strategist