1. It’s alright to cry. Guys, emotions are your friends. Did you learn nothing from Rosey Grier singing on “Free to Be You and Me”? Or from Dolly Parton in “Steel Magnolias” when she said “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”? Okay, first you have to actually get through “Steel Magnolias” without killing yourself, but that’s a start. Men who aren’t afraid of their feelings ― and who can laugh wholeheartedly or even just crack an easy smile (we’re looking at you, Chase) ― will have deeper, more satisfying relationships. Don’t let your mother shame you by saying tears aren’t your style (we’re looking at you, Chase’s mom).
2. Don’t show your date old, ugly pictures of yourself. It can really ruin the magic.
3. Beware the “I love you” without eye contact. Jordan may have all the right moves (and yes, that’s a purposeful 80s reference to the Tom Cruise coming-of-age movie about a high school football star), but he doesn’t seem to be here for . . . wait for it . . . all the right reasons. His sudden case of gecko eyes every time he talks about how he feels about JoJo or every time JoJo talks about how she feels about him reveals a lack of conviction, authenticity, and sincerity on his part. Behind those darting eyes you can practically hear him in his head counting the minutes until he can take his rightful place as the next Bachelor. So when someone is telling you everything you want to hear, but it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.
4. Don’t drag out a breakup. “It was over 9 months before it ended.” Say whaaaaa, Robby? If you know a relationship is not right, like he did with his ex, don’t put off the inevitable because you don’t want to be alone, or you don’t want to hurt your partner, or it’s just more convenient because you share a house/a car/pets/kids/a Netflix account. When you realize you’re not meant to be, rip off that Bandaid quickly ― kindly and gently, but quickly.
5. When you feel something, say something. Life is too short to hold back. A war veteran should know this. But Luke’s inability to tell JoJo “I love you” ― even though he was feeling it ― took him off the booty list and put him on the boot list. At the end of their hometown date, you could see the disappointment in her body, you could hear the disappointment in her lukewarm (Luke-warm?) goodbye. Don’t live with regrets. See #1 again for more details.