Here are my top ten easiest ways to manage stress.
10. Get organized. Disorganization is a major source of stress. Every time you have to search for your car keys or search through a pile of papers on your desk or through improperly marked files on your computer or for something in your messy closet you are going to feel super-stressed, especially if you are rushed for time. (See #9) Clean out your car, clean off your desk, organize your closets and your files at work. I guarantee this will immediately lower your stress.
9. Build in extra time for things that take longer than you think. I would venture to guess that a major source of stress in your life is caused by time pressure. It’s not the kids dawdling or the copier breaking down or the traffic jam on the way to work that is stressing you out it’s TIME PRESSURE. When you build in extra time for things that take longer than you think you will easily eliminate a huge amount of stress.
8. Tune into the present moment. Almost ALL of your worry and anxiety comes from leaving the present moment and allowing your mind to go forward into the future and ponder terrible outcomes that may never come to pass: Will I have enough money to pay the bills? Will the dentist find a cavity? Is my boss going to fire me? And a lot of your anger arises from going back into the past and reliving things that have already happened and can’t be changed. But if you really tune into the present moment you often see that it can be a sort of oasis from BOTH anger AND anxiety.
7. Forgive someone who has wronged you in the past. They say holding a grudge is like taking poison every day and hoping somebody else is going to die. By genuinely forgiving someone who has ever wronged you (or several people all at once), you can - in one fell swoop - instantly let go of a lot of stress.
6. Laugh at your stress. This isn’t always easy but so therapeutic I guarantee it’s worth trying. The next time something really stressful happens to you, see how quickly you can turn that stressful event into a funny story that you tell your friends. The minute you transform your stress into laughter, it goes away.
5. Laugh. If you can’t laugh at your stress, then just laugh, period. There are so many things that reliably make me laugh on the internet (twin babies laughing), or on Netflix (Stand-up Comedy) and even on DVD. My go to here is my complete collection of Seinfeld episodes. I can watch ANY episode and in minutes I’m feeling less stressed.
4. Connect with every single person you meet. I do this by complimenting people. If I see someone at the gym lifting a lot of weight, I tell them WOW that’s a lot of weight you were lifting. Or if I see someone helping someone else, I’ll tell them later what a nice thing that was to do. Connecting with people you meet is a lot easier than you think, especially with the people who work at the stores where you shop. Look your helper in the eyes, address them by name (they always wear a name badge), thank them for whatever service they provided for you and really listen to their answer while MAINTAINING at least some eye contact.
When you make other people feel good, it makes you feel good too. Every time you do this, you will feel a rush of feel-good chemicals that are released in your brain like dopamine and oxytocin that explain why Emotional Intelligence author, Dr. Dan Goleman likes to say: “Human beings are wired to connect.”
3. Shift your focus forward from the problem to the solution. Whenever we first encounter a stressor, we focus almost exclusively on the fact that we have this big problem that we didn’t have before and NOT on the fact that there is almost CERTAINLY a solution to this problem. If you find yourself in this situation start the problem-solving process in motion by simply asking yourself: How can I SOLVE this problem? Once you start actively looking for the solution you will be amazed by how quickly your stress around this issue will dissolve.
2. Reword your overly negative self-talk. 99% of our stress comes from our thinking. Usually it’s our thoughts, interpretations and beliefs that is causing the vast majority of our stress. When you hear yourself arrive at irrational conclusions like “I’ve got the world’s worst boss.” Or, “this traffic jam is going to take forever to clear.” Or, “I’m no good at anything” realize that these examples of negative self-talk all show you why your thinking can be (and usually is) a major source of stress.
The first thing you need to do to combat this all-too common human tendency is to simply notice this internal dialog and when you do, talk back to it and correct it when it’s wrong. When you hear yourself say something like: “My boss is always asking me to stay late,” when in fact, he hasn’t asked you to stay late for over two weeks, just correct your observation and state the facts. You’ll find that the TRUTH in these situations is almost always WAY less stressful (and easier to take) than the irrational exaggerations you tell yourself, with your overly negative self-talk.
1. Take 3 really deep breaths. Breathing in through your nose and out through your partially closed mouth