The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off a Conservative

1. Insist that Ronald Reagan was just a "pretty good" President.

2. Tell them all Muslims are terrorists in the same way that all Republicans are white supremacists.

3. Tell them if Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt were alive today they'd be Democrats.

4. Explain that it's impossible for Mexicans to be lazy and take our jobs at the same time.

5. Argue that if they really did "support the troops," they'd stop sending them to fight in poorly planned, unnecessary wars in the middle of nowhere.

6. Admit that our country was founded on Judeo-Christian values, but that the FRENCH enlightenment had a lot to do with it too...

7. Explain that just because they support Ben Carson, Tim Scott, or another black politician, doesn't necessarily mean they're not also racist. (Ditto with supporting Israel and anti-semitism).

8. Tell them that even if we built a wall and got Mexico to pay for it, that wouldn't change the fact that the average baby born in America today is NOT white.

9. Remind them that no matter who they nominate this election cycle, Hillary Clinton will be President for eight years.

10. Find a way to work in one of these words/phrases into a sentence: micro-aggression, white privilege, gay marriage, black lives matter, transgender rights.