New York Times bestselling author, Richard Paul Evans, has created a tribe and organization for men.
And for good reason.
There is loads of science to show that men are increasingly becomingly lonely, suicidal, and “checking-out” of life.
For example, famed psychologist, Philip Zimbardo, has spent years researching men. In his book, Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling & What We Can Do About It, Zimbardo explains that men are finding more purpose in virtual worlds, like video games and pornography, then they are in the real world. The real world is becoming an increasingly hostile place for men.
In her book, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys, Kay Hymowitz explains that the feminist movements have not only equalized the playing field for men and woman, but it has sought to diminish men. The message they are continually receiving is: You’re not good enough. You’re no longer needed. Your masculinity is no longer valued. Women don’t need to listen to men.
A result of this cultural narrative is that men and boys have become increasingly confused about their identity and role in society. Kay Hymowitz, author of Manning Up, put it this way:
“It’s been an almost universal rule of civilization that whereas girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess, or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors of women and children; this was always their primary social role. Today, however, with women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role — fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity — are obsolete and even a little embarrassing.”
It is the norm in Hollywood films, TV and cable shows, and even commercials to portray men as incompetent, immature, or self-absorbed. This underlying message has subtly and increasingly become the collective unconscious with devastating repercussions.
Richard Paul Evans training the group of “Kyngs” at the Ranch Retreat located at Evan’s ranch in southern Utah.
So Richard Paul Evans has formed a group to help men. The phoenix rising from the ashes has deep symbolic meaning, as men are now being required to rise from the ashes of a society and world that no longer values them.
Here are a few key aspects of THE TRIBE OF KYNGS:
Men Have Always Been Part Of Groups
Men need other men to bond and connect with. But that isn’t happening in society anymore. Instead, they are becoming increasingly secluded and isolated.
Rather than having fun activities and having friends, most men don’t really have friends.
Research has found that when a person has friendships that are supportive, honest, and intimate, they have much higher well-being and ability to cope with the stresses of life. A core purpose of THE TRIBE OF KYNGS is to provide an environment where men can develop genuine and intimate friendships with other men.
In all reality, men are very emotional beings. Society has told them not to be intimate, vulnerable, or to exhibit feelings. But men thrive in relationships where they can be vulnerable and emotional. They just also need lots of fun and relaxation as well.
Men need this now more than ever.
Men Are Suppressed, Shamed, and Lonely
Many men are choosing not to get married. They don’t see the value in losing their freedom, being told what to do, and being undervalued.
The societal narrative for decades has been that women should not listen to men, but should do only what they want. After all, women should be empowered, which no longer means equality but complete dismissal of men. A common consequence is that many women purposefully withhold sex from their husbands, either because they don’t want sex or as a form of dominion.
But a healthy sexual life is a biological need for men. When they aren’t able to engage is safe and loving sex with their partner, men’s biology and psychology can go out of whack. Yet, the cultural narrative is that if a man seeks sex, then he is a pig and sex-addict. As a result, many men feel guilty for even wanting sex, let alone asking for it. And asking can become one heart-break after another when a man’s lover and life-partner continues to deny them something they physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually need.
Because many men don’t feel safe asking their wives for sex, they withdraw themselves emotionally from their wives. They turn to pornography or even other women, which further enhances their sense of guilt and loneliness.
The Opposite of Addiction is Connection
Many men feel less connected to society and even to their wives. They don’t have deep friendships, but a number of surface-level acquaintances. Which is why more and more men are turning to unhealthy additions to numb their loneliness.
Pornography.
Video games.
Drugs.
Suicide.
All of these things come from loneliness and a lack of connection. These problems are compounded by the fact that men feel less needed in society, and are often cast in a negative light.
TRIBE OF KYNGS seeks to provide a place where men can develop connections, overcome addictions, and stand in their power.
Healthy Men Make Incredible Husbands and Fathers
A common theme among the members of the TRIBE OF KYNGS is that the wives of these men feel increasingly grateful.
When a man invests in himself, he becomes a better and more confident husband and father.
When a man finds his confidence, he provides far more powerful love and commitment to his wife and children.
Conclusion
The demise of our culture will result from the demise of its men if something isn’t changed quickly. Far too many men remain directionless, devastated and scared children.
Now, more than ever, men need to reconnect. They need to reconnect with other men in the form of intimate and healthy friendships, they need to connect deeply with their families, and they need to find their place in the world.