Trump Demands Bin Laden's Long-Form Death Certificate: Hawaiian Investigators Sent to Pakistan

Reacting to the killing of Osama bin Laden, Donald Trump expressed skepticism. "Burying bin Laden at sea seems very fishy to me", said the reality TV host. The real estate heir said he was temporarily dispatching the investigators he had in Hawaii, who told him that the Obama birth certificate was missing, to Pakistan to look for bin Laden's body and certificate of death.

Trump said that his Hawaiian investigators are also trained deep-water divers. "They have already been in the water, and there is no evidence of bin Laden's body", said Trump. "Nothing personal to the Navy Seals, I get along great with the singer (one of the blacks) and his gorgeous wife Heidi Klum", said Trump, "but my people are telling me not to believe it.

"All we have seen is the 'certificate of dead death' ", said the Donald. "It's gotta be long-form from the get-go or I, for one, will not believe we got bin Laden".

"I'd also like to know what took them so long", said Trump. "I would have just called bin Laden up, reminded him that I am a real estate guy too so he wasn't fooling me, and stuck it right in his m-f'ing left eye, then and there".

Trump also remarked, "I don't believe he lived there. I've looked at the compound, he could have built at least another 6 floors on top of it, and it would have been worth another $10 million".

Trump did leave himself a way out.

"If bin Laden was killed, and I hope he was, I am very proud of myself", said Trump. "Since I achieved something of enormous importance no one else was able to do, the President had to show he could do something no one else was able to do either. The President got bin Laden vs. I got Obama's long-form birth certificate. It is now even-steven going into the 2012 election".