Trump Flip-Flops on His Member

Donald Trump retreated today from his claim that there was "no problem" with the size of his hands or his manhood. "I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee," claimed the follicly-challenged candidate at last week's debate.

However, there seems to be trouble in tinkletown as the Trump campaign today issued a clarification on its website. "After reviewing security tapes of the Trump bedroom, we confirm there was a problem on both Monday and Thursday nights last week," the statement read.

Trump's main rivals immediately jumped on the reversal. "Trump must have been thinking with the wrong head at the debate," chided Ted Cruz,. "Trump is wrong for the bedroom, and wrong for America," argued rival Marco Rubio, adding "I wouldn't want to take a chance on either one."

This may explain a tweet from Donald Trump late Wednesday that was apparently meant as a private message to his wife Milania and quickly deleted. It read, "Sry Mlnia. It was vry cold, hugely cold in bedroom, & yr hands were frozen, & I was thinking abt starving children in Africa. Try tonite w my pill."