Trump: Resurrection of the American Dream

Trump: Resurrection of the American Dream
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Drew Dogan III

I fully understand that there are a lot of people upset with the results of this election and let me assure you that everything is going to be OK. The future of the “American Dream” is more alive now than it has ever been and here’s why:

It seems like only earlier this week, my two children from my fourth marriage, Drew VIII (3) and Mercedes (5), were wondering about their futures. My son asked me if I thought he could grow up to be President someday, which made me think about my own childhood and asking my father that exact same question. My cute little daughter also had a question. She asked me if the President was going to “grab her by the pussy”. Apparently our Hispanic(?), Latina(?), Spanish(?), Deportable(Yes) Nanny left the TV on while preparing lunch for the kids.

First I laughed and said “why how presidential of you to think that” and then I realized she was deeply concerned and maybe even a bit traumatized. Again, so, so cute, you should have seen her with her tiny tears, body shaking hysterically, and her little hands protecting her toochie (as she calls it). Having all the greatest words, I reassured her she was no Ivanka. I told her that her mother was a “5” or “6” tops so she was most likely only going to grow up to be a “8” at best with my genes.

I’m sorry if you’re a woman libber reading this and don’t like my words, but it’s true, her mom is a pig. You’d laugh and agree if you saw her. Don’t get me wrong, her mother’s current rating is no reflection of me, when I “had” her, it was in her prime. She was a “10”; but as soon as she had the kids and hit 35, I brought her back to the dealer for a newer model, if you know what I mean (lease was up, way over the miles allowed, had to pay extra just to unload her for an upgrade). After reassuring my daughter that she was unworthy of a presidential grope, I moved on to something more important (like we all need to do America - Am I right? So true).

I turned to my son and said “It seemed like only yesterday, you had to be black, smart, experienced and care to be President and yet here we are living in an age where Donald J. Trump, a rich, arrogant, ignorant, white, billionaire by inheritance is going to be the 45th President of these United States. A man who was not elected based on his actions, but his words. A man, just like your dad and Jesus. Yes son, we finally live in an age where even YOU can be anything you want, even President.”

And then he smiled and called his sister a “3” and we both laughed. Kids. LOL. Seriously, soooo cute she is. God Bless America!

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