Trump Should Be Speaker -- And Still Run for President. Seriously

LAS VEGAS, NV - OCTOBER 08:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at the Treasure Is
LAS VEGAS, NV - OCTOBER 08: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at the Treasure Island Hotel & Casino on October 8, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. During the rally, Trump said people were giving him credit for helping force House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy to bow out of the race for Speaker of the House. (Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images)

The U.S. Constitution does not make it a requirement that the Speaker of the House be a member of Congress. It is a position open to anyone.

Hence, instead of turning over internal rocks to mull over dull, duller and dullest, House Republicans can search the country for a person who could lead their fractious caucus.

That, too, however, would waste time. There is only one person who can do it -- Donald Trump.

After all, the major skill required to lead the Republican caucus is making deals. The Donald wrote the second greatest book of all time, The Art of the Deal. He also loves the greatest book of all time, the Bible, so much he cannot choose a favorite verse or book. What better background to forge a grand consensus among right-wing moderates and right-wing extremists?

Trump as Speaker would also be the greatest campaign move in history. It is not a time-consuming job; all you have to do is make top-line decisions and make deals. You rarely show up actually to run the House. John Boehner had plenty of time to golf, drink, smoke and go under the lamp.

Trump could spend most of his time running for president, and use his achievements as Speaker to make his case to voters.

Trump would not even move to D.C. His caucus would make trips to see him, on his turf, at Trump Tower. Just the sense of being "in" at the Donald's lavish condo will melt the ice of the Freedom Caucus.

Trump would do the greatest deals ever, and it would not be difficult. You either agree, or you become instantly infamous by Trump labeling you weak, pathetic, stupid, an idiot.

Trump could also use his position as speaker to go to Moscow to meet with Putin and cut a great deal with him over Ukraine and Syria. Putin would agree to withdraw from Ukraine and allow the country to establish a workable federation. If Putin did not go along, all (verbal) hell would break loose, and Trump would take the oil he were now taking from Iraq and dump it on the market, further weakening Russia's economy.

An amazing deal with China would be next. Having demonstrated that the House will do his bidding, so that it would, if told, pass high tariffs, the Donald would then invite the Chinese premier and his wife to his Manhattan pad for a week. The premier would listen as Trump called one U..S manufacturer after another to move their work back to the U.S. In 24-48 hours, they would succumb. By the time the premier left, China's currency would have become free-floating.

The House would certainly authorize the most amazing wall in history, between the United States and Mexico. Speaker Trump would send the invoice to Mexico, and continue calling them lazy bums who prefer spending their time committing rape... until they began work.

He would, astutely, leave the Middle East until after his election as president.

Domestically, Trump would have a fiesta. The House would get an incredible high by passing the most amazingly massive tax cuts for the wealthy ever conceived. With that fiscal heroin speeding through their veins, House Republicans would, finally, pass laws to build incredible infrastructure, especially airports and helicopter pads, but also roads and bridges and water systems. Votes to raise the debt ceiling would become routine (and, almost a weekly necessity).

The House would no longer be a place for bickering. Everyone would have an incredible time, and put the "grand" back in "Grand Old Party."

With this record of achievement, Speaker Donald would easily become President Trump in the 2016 elections in the most amazing landslide ever conceived.