Trump Stumped

THE "UMP" RULES IN "SUMP" POOLS
By Robert Brustein

First, we had Donald Trump, Republican Presidential candidate, accused of paying no taxes to the Government. And now we have John G. Stumpf, Executive Officer of Wells Fargo, accused of letting his employees create unauthorized accounts for themselves and for their customers.

Is here something about the "ump" in Trump and Stumpf that stimulates illegal activities?

If so, here are some warnings about characters and circumstances with similar-sounding names.

BUMP: One of the many unfixed rises in the road if Trump manages to get elected.

CHUMP: One of the persons who helped Trump manage to get elected.

DUMP: The value of your house if Trump manages to get elected.

FRUMP: The name for women if Trump manages to get elected.

HUMP: The main White House Activity if Trump manages to get elected.

JUMP: The smart thing to do on Pennsylvania Avenue if Trump manages to get elected.

LUMP: The way you'll feel if Trump manages to get elected.

PUMP: The unaffordable place to go if Trump manages to get elected.

RUMP: Where you'll think you have been kicked if Trump manages to get elected.

STUMP: Where you should have been if Trump manages to get elected.

UMP: Who you'll be sorry wasn't in place if Trump manages to get elected.