NOT FAKE NEWS, BUT AUTHENTIC SATIRE
According to a rumor now making the rounds in Washington, President Trump’s hairdresser is a fairy. No — not what you’re thinking — but an actual fairy — a teensy-weensy, winged creature that flits about his head using her magic wand to smooth and straighten each strand of his improbable hair and to arrange its “do” just so.
Apparently this fairy, who appears and disappears at will, operates at the President’s beck and call. Trump goes nowhere without her, and he never appears in public or on camera until “Minnie” — as the President calls her — dresses his hair, which sometimes happens — of necessity — several times a day.
According to a high-level White House source (who definitely is not Kelleyanne Conway), Mr. Trump purchased Minnie from the estate of the late Tammy Faye Bakker (1942-2007), the evangelist, talk show host, and television personality. At the same time, Bakker’s estate sold Winnie, the fairy who did Tammy’s eye makeup, to rock star Marilyn Manson.