It has been revealed that President-elect Donald Trump's phone calls to the leaders of Pakistan, Taiwan, and the Philippines, are actually just a preview for a rebooted version of the classic prank call TV series Crank Yankers. "This is a bold new way for the President-elect to simultaneously conduct foreign policy and entertain the world with hilarious shenanigans," said White House transition apologist Wendy Elise MacMagnussell.
In an upcoming episode of Trump Yankers, Trump calls up Xi Jinping, President of the People's Republic of China:
(phone rings; intercut puppet versions of Xi Jinping at his Zhongnanhai office, and Donald Trump at the White House)
Xi Jinping: Hello?
Trump: Hi, who's this?
Xi Jinping: Xi Jinping.
Trump: Hi, I'm Donny! I'm calling from America, the greatest city in the world. Yay! America is the greatest city in the world! Yay!
Xi Jinping: What?
Trump: You got any Beef Lo Mein? I love Beef Lo Mein! Yay! Beef Lo Mein!
Xi Jinping: I think you have the wrong number.
Trump: I love Beef Lo Mein! Do you deliver Beef Lo Mein to America?
Xi Jinping: I don't understand...
Trump: Because if you don't, I'm gonna have to slap a forty-five percent tariff on all your imports.
Xi Jinping: What? Are you crazy?
Trump: Make it seventy! Yay! Tariffs! Yay!
(Trump hangs up phone, laughs hysterically)
Upcoming episodes of Trump Yankers will include Trump's conversations with Winston Churchill and Angela Merkel, the King of Germany.