We can’t deny it any longer: Turkeys have declared war on the United States postal service.
Dispatchers released this 911 call from Hillsdale, New Jersey this week, and it aired on local news station WABC.
“I have a carrier that’s being attacked by wild turkeys, won’t let him deliver the mail,” the postmaster tells the sergeant in the Tuesday call.
“This has been going on,” he continued. “It’s crazy.”
Police officers who arrived at the scene dispersed the turkeys by “walking towards them,” WABC reports. Residents in the wild turkey territory told the news channel that the mail carrier was a substitute and unfamiliar with the ways of the birds.
But brush off the incident as they may, similar tales have been emerging across the country to form a frightening pattern. Late last year, we learned that a Massachusetts mailman was being “mercilessly hunted down and attacked” by a flock of turkeys every single day. In 2014, a mail carrier in North Carolina revealed that turkey incidents made her feel unsafe delivering the mail. And this curated list of turkey attacks demonstrates these events are far from isolated.
The word is out. The turkeys have organized, and they are targeting our mailmen. We assume they won’t rest until Thanksgiving is canceled for good.
Or maybe they just prefer FedEx.
The following photos are not this author sucking up to our new turkey overlords: