It’s no secret Americans love cheese ― from grocery store string cheese to fancy restaurant burrata and wheels of Raclette.
In honor of National Cheese Day, which falls on June 4, we rounded up 38 funny tweets that are sure to resonate with cheese-lovers. Keep scrolling for a Gouda laugh.
me, drunk, into the thermostat: alexa, text my husband to buy more cheese.
— kim monte 🏳️🌈 (@KimmyMonte) February 1, 2019
My dog stole a wedge of cheese and slunk off to eat it under the dining room table, and I've never been more convinced he could be my biological son.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 1, 2019
Once again in my quest to not eat sugar I have eaten Too Much Cheese
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 25, 2018
Ever since I learned the US is experiencing a cheese surplus Ive felt a deep and personal sense of failure
— Erin 🔥🏃🏻♀️🍳 Ryan (@morninggloria) May 18, 2016
Just thinking about Kraft mac and cheese right about now. pic.twitter.com/PymmfEYqCl
— Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) August 3, 2018
3-year-old: *double-fists shredded cheese from the bag*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 19, 2018
Wife: You didn't stop her?!
Me: She's living her best life.
I don't have to say cheese to smile. I just have to think about it.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 14, 2018
Can't believe I wasted calories on macaroni and cheese with less than five cheeses.
— Kima Jones 🏁 (@kima_jones) February 6, 2019
when I die, I want an open casket funeral and have me holding a pot of cheese fondue so everyone can dip bread as they mourn
— maura quint (@behindyourback) January 2, 2017
It’s virtually impossible not to eat the entire box of Annie’s mac and cheese. The box is one serving.
— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) August 18, 2018
Don’t @ me.
My 7yo just decided to spend her pocket money on cheese instead of candy, so my work here is done.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) December 6, 2018
You can't make somebody love you, but you can eat cheese until you die.
— moody monday (@mdob11) December 13, 2014
I want to learn everything there is to learn about cheese. I want to squeeze the milk out of a tit and touch curdles with my bare hands and see a wheel of cheese that I check on daily mature into a beautiful angel
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 5, 2018
hitting that point in the night where I can't stop thinking about how good cheese has been to me
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 20, 2015
my husband brought home a slice of macaroni and cheese pizza and didn’t bring me one can i stay with one of you until the divorce is final ? pic.twitter.com/oNHFdmwJfA
— kim monte 🏳️🌈 (@KimmyMonte) January 23, 2019
I try not to snack at night, but the cheese in my fridge haunts me. What if I die in my sleep and NO ONE EATS IT?
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) October 11, 2017
I decided to do some lunges in my living room. I had 3 in before I realized I was still eating a piece of cheese.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) January 30, 2014
My birthstone is a block of cheese.
— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) July 3, 2014
I just want to live in a world where I don't have to pay for extra cheese let alone even have to ask for it
— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) April 25, 2015
Kraft recalled 96,000 pounds of cheese-filled hot dogs. I recall 96,000 pounds of cheese-filled hot dogs too. That was one wild summer.
— Joe Rumrill (@2tonbug) April 21, 2014
not to ruin your trust in the world but anytime you see something labelled as "four-cheese," that final cheese is a bullshit cheese
— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 17, 2016
*me delicately placing thin slivers of this merlot cheese on my lactose intolerant tongue* pic.twitter.com/cGaQIh7No2
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) January 19, 2019
feelin anxious how much cheese should i eat
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) February 5, 2019
My daughter asked me if cheese is a vegetable, so...yeah she’s an optimist.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) April 23, 2018
Me: Did you eat all the cheese?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 20, 2017
5-year-old: No.
Me:
5: There’s more at the store.
[grating cheese over my pasta]
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 18, 2016
Waiter: Tell me when
Me:
W:...
Me:
W:...
Me:
W:...
Me:
W: are you gonna say when?
Me: Wow our first fight.
Someone ignoring you? There's a cheese for that.
— moody monday (@mdob11) June 22, 2014
Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese.
— Emily Nixon (@NotThatNixon) February 10, 2014
every day when I wake up, my first thought is how satisfying it would be to slice cheese with one of these pic.twitter.com/gQ0LDa3Ak2
— bletchley punk (@alicegoldfuss) February 3, 2019
My Valentine is just a picture of cheese.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) February 13, 2014
2-year-old: *screeches*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2018
Me: What's the emergency?
2: I need cheese.
That is an emergency.
Can someone send me that video of that couple grinding on each other and one is feeding the other mac and cheese? I am trying to impress a girl
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) December 13, 2018
Ice cream - cashew milk
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 1, 2018
Cereal - almond milk
Smoothies - coconut milk
CHEESE - WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH CHEESE I LOVE CHEESE
we go together like cheese and everything
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) August 22, 2013
Me: [lecturing kids] You know, the Paw Patrol string cheese is already gone. That was supposed to be for school snacks.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 20, 2018
Husband [mouthful of string cheese] Listen to your mother, kids.
Fuck your zodiac sign. How do you feel about cheese?
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) September 10, 2018
1-year-old: *fills her mouth so full of cheese she can't close it*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 22, 2017
*reaches for more cheese*
If I'm not choking on the cheese then I don't know what your version of "extra cheese" on a pizza looks like.
— Cathryn 🏳️🌈 (@AngryRaccoon2) September 21, 2018
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