It’s easy to see why Costco inspires such fierce devotion in shoppers: Where else can you buy bulk-sized packages of Q-Tips, bottles of whiskey the size of a small child and take out a freaking mortgage all in one visit? And all while gorging yourself on free samples, no less.
Like most good things in life, the superstore is better when you share it with someone you love ― even if that someone tries to persuade you to buy 10-pound bags of flour or ridiculous turbo-sized cartons of olive oil.
Below, 27 tweets from people who know that the couple who buy Kirkland brand products together, stay together. (Or at the very least, have packs of toilet paper stored up until next year...)
Husband took me to a Costco in a different neighborhood. I think he’s trying to spice up our marriage.— Miranda Summers Lowe🌺 (@Msummerslowe) November 19, 2017
Relationship status:— Olive Gravy (@offbeatoliv) December 13, 2016
Just bought the 48 pack of AA batteries at Costco.
Husband: We should go to Costco.— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 1, 2017
Me [still in pajamas]: So I should change?
H: I said Costco, not Walmart.
Me:*puts on nicer pajamas*
My wife just said “I really want to take my time and enjoy it” while referring to a trip to Costco in case you’re wondering if having kids will change your life— Luke Gordon Field (@Lukemaybefunny) March 26, 2019
[Christmas shopping at Costco]— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) December 18, 2018
Me: *struggling with a 55 gallon drum of mayonnaise*
Wife: Put that back!
Me: Your mom is gonna love it!
Overheard at Costco:— Ashley (@Briefslayer) February 10, 2018
Husband to wife: “Stay focused”
At Costco— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 3, 2019
Me: *squeals* Can't wait to get a churro, I'm so excited!!!!
Husband: Wish you would get that excited about another churro...
Me: Maybe if you deep fried it and rolled it in sugar.
when your boyfriend says he wants excitement in his life and you tell him we're going to costco— Dominic Riccitello (@DominicScott) April 30, 2015
Me: I’m giving you the better slice of Costco pizza. I’m telling you because I want credit.— Amber Argyle (@amberargyle) April 20, 2019
My girlfriend and I got a Costco membership, aka a Lesbian Wedding, aka you can look forward to me bragging how much I save on paper towels.— ethical nihilist (@McCormCorp) April 14, 2014
My husband asked me if I'd like to have lunch at Costco, so don't tell me romance is dead after 20 years.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 2, 2015
Why do men love Costco so much? My husband lights up like a lil kid at Xmas mornin’ when there 😂— ᎠᏌNᎬᎷYᎢᎻᎪNᏩ™️ (@Kris_Sacrebleu) February 9, 2019
almost have my wife on board with sending out a christmas card that’s a photo of our family in front of costco— slick (@dlicj) November 27, 2018
I will get my wife whatever she wants for Valentine’s Day as long as they have it at Costco.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 7, 2019
To my future wife:— Sean Kopchak (@Sean_Kopchak23) March 21, 2019
Don’t worry honey, I’ll get us a Costco Card
My husband thinks he's worldly because he sampled chicken salad at several Costco's within a 50 mile radius— SuburbanComa 🌊🌊🌊 (@SuburbanComa) April 5, 2013
Fun game!— Lori (@loribuckmajor) May 18, 2014
Bring your husband to Costco and watch him spend your entire retirement.
newlywed first: fighting with a couple on the Costco checkout line, and the husband yells at my husband and I get the wife— Meredith Gran (@granulac) December 15, 2015
At this point, my husband and I only go to Costco just to push around a giant cart and say “ehhh don’t know if you need that” to whatever the other one wants to get.— Adam Sass Sold a Book! (@TheAdamSass) September 29, 2018
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a date & then we laughed & laughed & went to Costco.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 3, 2019
just changed my Facebook relationship status from 'single' to 'Costco Member'— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) January 10, 2019