The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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who is more forsaken than the person on the group text who writes the last thing & everyone suddenly decides to stop responding
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 22, 2021
You honestly have to respect my lyft driver who did NOT drive me to my destination, but rather stopped before it and simply said, “no more”
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) May 23, 2021
As summer approaches, I feel it is my civic duty to tell you your natural deodorant does not work.
— Ego Nwodim (@eggy_boom) May 25, 2021
dating a very social person in their 30s is like starting a show in its 20th season with 125 characters and 3,000 storyarcs to learn
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) May 21, 2021
snow white broke into a house in the woods and did chores. wow, boring. goldilocks, the true hero, broke in to a house, made some judgements, and then took a nap. i have no notes
— nash flynn (@itsnashflynn) May 25, 2021
I met my amazing husband in my 30s on OkCupid and you can too! I don’t think he ever deleted his profile
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 25, 2021
journalism is hilarious ppl just go to places and starting asking like “hey what the fuck is going on here”
— meg (@simpstunning) May 24, 2021
what if f scott fitzgerald came back up to earth and said “it’s pronounced jatsby” and left
— anja (@internetanja) May 22, 2021
its interesting how some girls can pull off cornrows and make it look so chic. cus i just be lookin like a point guard.
— qikz (@QianaYana) May 26, 2021
Soooo my husband just came crashing through the attic of our new home today after I told him to leave the work up there to the professionals and I—
— Kelsey Byrd, DO, MBS (@KMurryByrd) May 27, 2021
Anyway, how is your day going? 🥲 pic.twitter.com/m8h6g9EdYe
Yeah I have a daily routine:
— Sam Reece (@SamanthaaaReece) May 23, 2021
-forget to eat breakfast until 2pm
-lay on my bed in a towel
-eat dinner at 5
-go to bed between 11pm and 6am
Took my sister to dinner last night & at the end the waiter said “half & half?” my sis hugged her bag and “nuh uhh” and pointed at me🤣
— OLONI BABY (@Oloni) May 25, 2021
“You see this crisp 20 dollar bill? One hour of silence and it’s yours,” me to an 11yr old just now. I am nailing this aunting shit.
— Lauren Hough (@laurenthehough) May 26, 2021
these teens just recorded me failing to parallel park while blaring olivia rodrigo, do not tell me if you see it on tiktok
— kate winslet’s vape coach (@theeashleyray) May 26, 2021
the man in the background is me seeing this outfit, too pic.twitter.com/qPAacdOMWE
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 23, 2021
i have come across so many of the same people on dating apps over the years i’ve started to see them as coworkers
— Anne Sundell (@anne_sundell) May 26, 2021
i think it would be really fun if the graduate with the lowest GPA also gave a speech. the anti-valedictorian if you will
— mk (@hot4anengineer) May 23, 2021
they really just said “throw every single word into this sentence” https://t.co/7nlMXXblDD
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) May 24, 2021
i don't like gen z/millenial discourse because as a cusp kid it just feels like watching my parents fight and having to confront the fact that i've inherited both of their irritating character flaws
— yamini (@showmetheyamz) May 23, 2021
Me: I hate drama.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 27, 2021
Also me: Reads all 258 comments on a heated Facebook post thread that is 100 percent not my business.
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