While Guinness beer has many fans around the world, not everyone enjoys the dark, dry Irish stout. And if you have a friend who’s studied abroad, they’ve likely told you a thousand times that “it tastes way better in Ireland.”
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, we’ve rounded up 21 funny tweets about Guinness. Enjoy!
Guinness smells like bread and regret had a baby.— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) March 18, 2015
Me: I like Guinness— not brendan (@crocodilethumbs) August 20, 2020
Somebody Who’s Had Guinness in Ireland: did you know it’s better in Ireland
Wife: What do you want to do for dinner?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 17, 2017
Me: Authentic Irish cuisine.
Wife: Corned beef and cabbage?
Me: Guinness and Lucky Charms.
Saint Patrick’s Day is named for Saint Patrick, the first guy to feed Guinness to a snake.— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 17, 2011
Who has the Guinness World Record for drinking the most Guinness in the World— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) April 25, 2013
March: Sponsored by Guinness— Kat Buckley (@awkwardlyours) March 2, 2017
Today I will be chugging Pepto-Bismol and Guinness because I'm a fucking multitasker.— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 17, 2012
Today is the only day of the year when it's socially acceptable to talk about your bathtub full of Guinness fantasy— Just J (@junejuly12) March 17, 2015
Me: *putting Guinness in the fridge* Is there anyone who doesn't love St. Patrick's Day?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2018
Taking my 500 kids to Ireland for a couple days when I perform in Dublin. Any advice on kid related activities besides drinking Guinness?— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 9, 2014
You're mesmerizing, dark & majestic, cascading before me in waves of black & tan- I will drink you, down to the last drop— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) April 21, 2017
-me to my Guinness
Tastykakes taste better in Philly. It's like how Guinness tastes better in Dublin, but tackier.— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) September 2, 2016
Dear kids,— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 16, 2019
If you really want to catch a leprechaun you should probably leave out some Jameson and Guinness, instead of those chocolate coins your mom gave you.
My heart says drink gallons of Guinness and Jameson, but my DNA says sip Manischewitz wine and complain about cold eggs.— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) March 17, 2019
after 4 glasses, I thought I'd finally developed a taste for Guinness beer & then my buddy told I'd just been drinking chocolate milk— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) May 7, 2016
Blood is thicker than water...— Stewie Needs Coffee ☕ (@stewiecoffee) June 20, 2019
...but Guinness is thicker than both, so screw everybody I'm sticking with Guinness.
If only Guinness wasn't disgusting— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) March 17, 2014
Sadness is an Irish bar without Guinness— Just J (@junejuly12) May 31, 2015
It's St. Patrick's Eve so remember to have the kids leave out some Guinness for the leprechaun so he doesn't eat them.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 16, 2019