The coronavirus pandemic has upended day-to-day life for everyone, but perhaps one of the most vocal groups during this time of uncertainty is parents.
Thanks to school closures, “shelter in place” mandates and other social distancing measures, most families are staying home for the foreseeable future. For those with kids in the house, it’s been a bumpy ride.
We’ve rounded up 45 tweets from parents about the sometimes comical reality of hunkering down at home with kids ― from homeschool failures and remote work struggles to the desperate attempts to carve out some alone time. If you’re in this situation, just know you aren’t only one.
Our homeschool curriculum includes my lecture series entitled “Yes You Still Have to Brush Your Teeth Even Though We Aren’t Going Anywhere”
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) March 18, 2020
[video call with my boss while working from home]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 18, 2020
Boss: I need you to-
[4 kids run by: one on fire, one naked, 2 in ski masks and capes]
Boss: Never mind
I finally have this homeschool schedule figured out:
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) March 18, 2020
8 a.m.: Breakfast and not sure what to do next.
9 a.m.: Print online worksheets I’m really not sure about.
Noon: Unstructured “boredom” time to stimulate creativity.
3 p.m.: Fresh air. Survive.
5 p.m.: Beer’O’Clock
I dont know what everyone is complaining about - this *homeschool thing is a breeze.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) March 17, 2020
*kids all still sleeping
Hard to imagine how my kids were ever able to survive regular school days without 23 snacks.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 20, 2020
Check on your friends stuck in quarantine with kids that never stop talking.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) March 22, 2020
We are NOT ok.
My son chose a REALLY CONVENIENT TIME to decide that “All Star” by Smash Mouth is not only his favorite song, but the ONLY song he is willing to listen to.
— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) March 23, 2020
Live-streaming church is a lot like regular church, except that I don’t have to whisper when I threaten my kids.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 23, 2020
Me: wanna hear a joke?
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) March 21, 2020
Daughter: sure.
Me: knock knock : )
Daughter:
Me: knock knock.
Daughter:
Me: you’re supposed to say who’s there.
Daughter: I don’t care who’s there I’m not opening the door during a pandemic.
Home school going swimmingly.
— Sam Freedman (@Samfr) March 23, 2020
Me: "I've set you some questions. Number 1 why were the Egyptians the first civilisation?"
Daughter: "Dad the Sumerians were the first civilisation."
Me: "damn you're right"
Our homeschooling curriculum includes: Honors Laundry and AP Vaccumming.
— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) March 16, 2020
Parent: What kind of tablet would you recommend as suitable for kids?
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) March 19, 2020
Me: Probably benadryl, valium if you're desperate. Any sedative will do in a pinch though.
Parent: I meant computer tablet.
Me: Erm.....yeah......obviously....#Quarantine #StaySafeStayHome
I’m double quarantined. Quarantined in the house away from COVID, quarantined in my bedroom away from my son’s Tik Tok shoots.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 19, 2020
Quarantine Day One: This could be fun! I’ve always wondered what it would be like to homeschool!
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 16, 2020
Quarantine Day One [at breakfast]: SO HELP ME GOD, MOVE YOUR FOOT AWAY FROM YOUR BROTHER’S CEREAL BOWL OR I WILL FIND A SCHOOL IN THIS COUNTRY THAT IS OPEN AND DRIVE US THERE TODAY
Quarantine strategiespic.twitter.com/W3CqAKGhAP
— Scott Galloway (@profgalloway) March 18, 2020
I've been a little worried about my son's self esteem during quarantine, but he's convinced that the sun goes down while he's napping, so he's probably fine.
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) March 22, 2020
Before:
— Marl (@Marlebean) March 20, 2020
"I WANT THE BEST EDUCATION FOR MY CHILDREN"
Homeschooling:
"You know, I think I'm ok with my kids being dumb"
You haven't lived until you've heard a group of 1st graders shouting "mute yourself" and "i can't hear you, unmute yourself"
— kellan 🌊 (@kellan) March 23, 2020
me: you need to go wash your hands
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 17, 2020
son: because of the virus?
me: your hands are literally wedged inside your own butt right now
Parents! Please post the board games and non-iPad things you are doing with your kids this week so I can block you!
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 22, 2020
Overheard my kids talking about how weird their teacher is.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 18, 2020
I’m their teacher.
Good news!
— Laurence Fox 🥦🦠 (@LozzaFox) March 23, 2020
Just had an email from both schools saying that the websites that they are asking us to use to home school our children have crashed due to volume of traffic.
There is a god.
Parents, don't dismiss your children's ability to grasp what's happening in the world right now. Talk to them. Inform them. My kids may only be toddlers, but after a long talk about hygiene they're pretending to wash their hands for twice as long as usual.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 16, 2020
I just got excited by a stray roll of toilet paper in the closet. My kids are playing quietly by themselves in separate rooms. I’m baking gluten free sugar free vegan banana bread.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 15, 2020
*double checks*
Yep, the world is ending
As I sit in isolation for hours, planning to keep a safe distance from my family, I hear them outside the door, shouting words of encouragement.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 18, 2020
Like my kids saying, "Make us breakfast!"
And my wife adding, "GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. YOU AREN'T SICK!"
Its nice to know that even in the most uncertain of times, my son can FaceTime his friends and talk about diarrhea.
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) March 18, 2020
The one thing that sustains me is the hope that when this is all over and the dust has settled, I’ll be able to pay someone to watch my kids again.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) March 22, 2020
Homeschooling day 1: trying to get this kid transferred out of my class.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 17, 2020
[quarantine day four]
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) March 16, 2020
Wife: what are you doing?
Me: teaching the kids how to sports bet.
Wife: but there are no sports right now.
Me: we’re doing which bird flies off the tree next.
Wife:
Me:
Wife: give me five bucks on the blue jay.
Announcement: Please do not hold children responsible for what their non-teachers teach them over the course of this quarantine. I just spent the last hour teaching my kids all about the 9 PLANETS IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM. 🤦🏻♀️
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 20, 2020
Your kids are doing homeschool still wearing Christmas pajamas too right?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 19, 2020
Family Quarantine Diary: Day 4
— The Dad (@thedad) March 22, 2020
The kids and I are constantly playing hide-and-seek now. They don’t always know it, but we are.
My kids are wrestling in the room, letting loose bloodcurdling screams every 5 minutes. My 9yo refuses to do any reading, my 4yo wants food we don't have, and the best I can offer is a 15 minute dance party in between work calls. Fuck you & your color-coded home-school schedules!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 16, 2020
My son is chasing his sister around the house with a piece of lizard poop how is your quarantine going?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 21, 2020
Teachers, many of you have posted that I could come to you for help. Thank you! I’m trying to figure out the perfect home school schedule and I need advice. What time should I pencil in my first martini, is it usually before or after morning snack?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 17, 2020
Someday our kids will have kids. Those kids will complain that they're bored and want to go somewhere.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 18, 2020
So our kids will tell their kids about the time they couldn't leave their house for a month because of a pandemic.
This is our kids "2 mile walk in the snow uphill" moment.
I told the kids we we were starting homeschool at 9am and they all are hiding from me in their rooms with the doors locked so is this winning? It feels like winning.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) March 23, 2020
It’s the 6th day of homeschooling, so naturally, the word of the day starts with the letter F.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 23, 2020
Day 4 of quarantine: I asked my 10 year-old daughter to teach me the renegade dance. Five minutes into it I violently hit my glasses off my own face. We’re taking a short break for my safety.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) March 19, 2020
My thanks to the people at LEGO for keeping my son and I busy (this was supposed to be The Lincoln Memorial). pic.twitter.com/txlpqCNfAy
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 18, 2020
No school, Day 1
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 16, 2020
7:15am: we have puzzles, activity books, stickers... we’ll get through this!
8:03am: *googles boarding schools with no coronavirus*
10 am, or as my kids know it:
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 19, 2020
The hour mom gives up
Here is my toddler homeschooling schedule. Any questions?
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) March 16, 2020
8-10am: frozen
10-12pm: frozen 2
*lunch*
1-3: frozen
3-5:frozen 2
*dinner*
6-8pm: frozen
*bed*
IDK who needs to hear this but don’t wait until the end of the quarantine to discover you never pulled your kid’s lunch out of her backpack.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 22, 2020
Social distancing day 4:
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 18, 2020
My daughter has discovered a newfound love of whistling.
help
I’m wondering how long this home school thing will go. Like, will I have to teach my kids med school?
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) March 18, 2020
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