This is true for a number of funny folks on Twitter who have shared hilarious experiences and musings about ordering food while social distancing. Below, we’ve rounded up 37 relatable tweets about pandemic takeout and delivery. Enjoy!
One upside of the pandemic is that it has allowed me to rebrand ordering delivery from “ugh too lazy to cook or even get pre-made food from the store” to “virtuously supporting local businesses during this difficult time”— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) October 13, 2020
I miss eating in restaurants so now I whisper “yes excellent choice” to myself when I make my takeout selections— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) September 1, 2020
Yes, I get a cheap thrill when I'm tracking a delivery driver's location on a map and the app corrects their position in real time by making it look like they're flying over the city in a hover car.— Mary Gillis (@living_marble) April 22, 2020
getting takeout from local restaurants instead of cooking is now at "support our troops" level of patriotism and it's the only part of this whole thing I'm here for— maura quint (@behindyourback) April 4, 2020
My main form of social interaction outside of my home is making meaningful eye contact from six feet away with delivery people and grocery store workers— Erin 💋far left loon💋 Ryan (@morninggloria) March 27, 2020
Santa. The original contactless delivery.— 🌴 Envy 🌴 (@envydatropic) December 24, 2020
this pandemic has made me hungry 24/7 and therefore i have given my bank account to postmates 🤷🏼♂️— Sam (@SamGolbach) May 25, 2020
In trying times you've got to grow and adapt. My wife and I have seamlessly transitioned from debating which restaurant we want to eat at to arguing over which food delivery app to use.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 22, 2020
You ever order something from Postmates and HOPE the restaurant cancels your order because you know damn well you don’t need to eat that?— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) April 19, 2020
by day 30 of quarantine you should have:— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) April 14, 2020
-a screen you love
-a screen you hate
-PhD level knowledge of tiger economics
-an outdoor zoom background to remember the sun
-watched 1000 cooking videos
-cooked 0 meals
-an uber eats driver who remembers you & is concerned
please do not email me. i must keep this inbox open for wingstop delivery notifications— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) May 8, 2020
A COVID rom com where a couple just sends various delivery orders back and forth forever— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) May 12, 2020
Very conflicted. Do I let the delivery guy think I'm having a Super Bowl party in the middle of a pandemic or do I admit the 6-foot sub is just for me?— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) February 7, 2021
Wife: I feel like at the beginning of the pandemic we were saving a lot of money not going to restaurants but now not so much.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 31, 2020
Me: (clicking accept on $27 worth of food delivery fees) Yeah, that’s weird.
Governor: All restaurants must now convert to takeout or delivery, only.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 18, 2020
Me [who hasn’t made a meal since the Chicken Cordon Bleu Incident of 1991]: Okay so there’s one thing that doesn’t affect us.
food delivery services need to stop sending me prompts to check out my year in review like I'm not miserable enough already— maura quint (@behindyourback) December 18, 2020
why does contactless delivery suddenly sound so erotic to me?— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) April 12, 2020
Not Postmates, not Instacart, but a service that will come to my house and confront me with the food I already have in my fridge.— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) June 6, 2020
Grubhub just announced a checkout option to eliminate any interaction with your delivery person so I feel it’s the right time to tell you all that I planned this whole pandemic myself and it worked. 🤷🏻♀️— Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) March 15, 2020
my hard and fast rule for restaurants until our global disease nightmare is over: unless you write "fuck you" on my takeout bag, i won't complain about shit. and even then, just to be safe, i'll assume i probably did something to deserve it.— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) June 28, 2020
*Tips delivery person with a 6 pack of toilet paper*— 🌴 Envy 🌴 (@envydatropic) April 16, 2020
I just ordered two pints of ice cream to be delivered—because I’m a champion— ⚓️🚢Imani Gandy 🚢⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) August 1, 2020
My seamless order was delivered by someone driving an Aston Martin, in case you were wondering how people are holding up in this economy.— Kathryn Harriman (@kathrynlindsey) September 15, 2020
A delivery guy just accidentally delivered mcdonald's breakfast to our house and reader I would be lying if I said I didn't consider just keeping it.— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) December 18, 2020
I ordered french fries and two slices of pie for dinner. Live it up.— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) September 20, 2020
Me: Omg, it’s so good to see you! Did you change your hair? Let’s not wait so long to get together again, okay?— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) January 27, 2021
Pizza delivery guy: Can I please just have my money?
The best thing about this war is that I can help fight it by ordering takeout from a Chinese restaurant.— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 28, 2020
why are restaurants giving out plastic utensils for home delivery, do they think I don't have forks?— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) May 22, 2020
I’m awake at 4 am for no reason then I saw a Little Caesars commercial where they touted cooking their pizzas at 475 degrees & are not touched after they come out of the oven before contactless delivery and, frankly, it might have persuaded me— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) April 3, 2020
But doesn’t everyone clean the house before the pizza delivery guy gets there.— Just J (@junejuly12) January 14, 2021
I'm instituting a food delivery protocol where drivers place food on my porch, and I wait to pick it up after they drive away.— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) March 14, 2020
I hope to maintain this procedure through the pandemic and also after, to avoid awkward small talk with strangers.
I returned my new swimsuit and used the money to buy takeout for dinner, and that sums up 2020— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) August 5, 2020
can we just have our uber eats drivers administer the vaccine?— kim (@KimmyMonte) January 6, 2021
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