St. Patrick’s Day brings to mind green beers, late night debauchery and “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” buttons.
But like Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day tends to become a different experience after you have kids. Between the Pinterest fails, battle to persuade a tiny person to wear green, and Lucky Charms messes, the holiday isn’t quite as carefree as it once was.
But it’s certainly filled with opportunities for humor. We rounded up some hilarious tweets from parents about the St. Patrick’s Day experience with kids. Grab a Guinness and read on:
Thanks to parenting, I'm doing St. Patrick's Day backwards. I spent the afternoon in tears, then started drinking.
— The Daddy Complex (@thedaddycomplex) March 17, 2013
All these parents taking pictures of their kids in cute St. Patrick's Day outfits and I can't even get mine to keep pants on.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 17, 2016
"Mom, why'd you make us a St Patrick's Day penis?"
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 17, 2016
Screw you Pinterest. #StPatricksDay pic.twitter.com/C9uYk1HNzN
I used to spend St. Patrick's Day emptying as many bottles as possible. Tonight I'm doing everything possible to get my baby to empty one.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 18, 2016
2 of my kids' birthdays are in late December so I'm basically not allowed to drink on St. Patrick's Day anymore.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 26, 2016
Me: "Do you want to wear green for St. Patrick's Day?"
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 17, 2016
4yo: "No, just orange and brown. And white and black. And red. And purplish-blue."
Happy St. Patrick's Day from a guy who is reliable w THE LADIES!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 17, 2016
(Sorry but that's all I think of when I see this.) pic.twitter.com/1870KswHjT
So what if I have three kids?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 17, 2015
I'm still going to party hard on St. Patrick's Day.
*drinks milk and watches "Finding Nemo"*
6yo son: I'm wearing green for St. Patrick's Day.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) March 18, 2016
Me: Oh cool!
6yo: I'm not Irish. I just don't wanna get pinched.
Dear Preschool: Thanks for giving my kid that sugary St Patrick's Day cupcake. The evening of sugar-fueled tantrums has been fun. #sarcasm
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 18, 2015
I put a green bow in my baby's hair for St. Patrick's Day, and a Pinterest account auto-created for me.
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 17, 2016
"You're such a fun mom!"
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 17, 2016
Translation: "Stop crafting rainbows and hiding gold around the house on St. Patrick's day like a crazy person"
When you're a parent, EVERY DAY might as well be St. Patrick's Day: You're gonna be groped by someone who seems drunk regardless of the date
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 17, 2015
What kind of monster convinces their kids that a Leprechaun brings them presents on St. Patrick's day?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 17, 2016
"But on YouTube the Elf on the Shelf came back on St. Patrick's Day!"
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) March 17, 2016
This is some bullshit.
He ALSO wasn't thrilled about wearing green. Happy St. Patrick's Day: pic.twitter.com/1eJeqebKBj
— Crappy Pictures (@AmberDusick) March 17, 2013
Started new St. Patrick's Day tradition of dumping an entire Shamrock Shake on each son to wake them up this morning.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 17, 2013
As a special treat for St. Patrick's Day, my kids will get to eat Lucky Charms for breakfast.
— Jill Krause (@babyrabies) March 17, 2015
Just kidding. They eat them every morning.
I adore the St. Patrick's Day tradition of fighting your whole family on the front lawn after sundown.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) March 17, 2016
Coworker: St. Patrick's Day is coming up!!
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) February 17, 2017
Me: Um. Ok.
Coworker: I just like having an excuse to drink.
Me: You don't have kids, do you?
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