Two Evils Reconcile, Agree They're Equally Bad

After untold centuries of antagonism, the Two Evils have formally reconciled and announced that they are, indeed, equally bad. "Both parties felt it was necessary to put the past behind them and stop wasting time in a vain attempt to define, or be defined by, which one was comparatively less evil," said Felicia Wordswhitten, a spokesperson for Evil the First. "Now, they can both concentrate on bringing equal amounts of unmentionable pain and suffering to humankind in their own unique ways. And, in the end, isn't that what it's all about?"

In this bold spirit of cooperation, Evil the First will concentrate on moral evil while Evil the Second will focus on natural evil, with attendant physical and metaphysical applications to be determined by focus groups. "I feel like a creative weight has been lifted," said a giddy Evil the Second, in a statement released this morning. "Frankly, I don't know what to do first--inspire a new genocidal militant group, create an unstoppable contagion, or just sit back and prepare for the November elections. Mua ha ha."