Two of the three Little Pigs were convicted yesterday on charges of building code violations, reckless endangerment and bribery. The charges pertained to the homes rebuilt after the original dwellings were destroyed by the Wolf.
"In actuality, the Wolf was a red herring," one city official said. "Those houses would have collapsed regardless. Structurally stable buildings are made from straw or sticks all the time. The huffing and puffing of one lone wolf should not blow a house down. It's a miracle no one was hurt."
Though it's been purported that the Little Pigs have mob ties, the allegations have yet to be proven. There was, however, ample evidence they were willfully negligent in constructing and then rebuilding the homes; using the same subpar materials and cutting the same corners. The second time around, they pocketed the insurance money and bribed inspectors to look the other way.
The investigation was spurred by information from an anonymous tipster, later revealed to be the third brick-laying Little Pig.
"It was my duty as a citizen. Not coming forward would have put my friends and neighbors in grave danger -- and if the responsibility of all that land fell into my trotters, so be it. When my fellow Little Pigs were arrested, I vowed by the hair of my chinny chin chin that something good would come out of all this. That's why I'm building market-rate luxury condominiums. Beauty out of ugliness. I owe it that much to the community."
Image: From the Project Gutenberg archives, Illustration by Leonard Leslie Brooke, from The Golden Goose Book, Frederick Warne & Co., Ltd. 1905. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons.