The number one way to a healthy relationship is to drop the attachment to being a victim. All the ways you feel the need to tell your stories to get validation, attention, or compassion and love is simply a temporary fix. Seeking that fix is a mask that covers a lack of self love.
Loving yourself is not as hard as you think. Try these two simple steps.
First, make a commitment to sit for five minutes a day. Breathe. Get quiet. Ask to be shown why you are lovable. Open your heart, even a tiny bit. Ask to be filled with love. There is something greater in all of us that does not judge, blame, or need to use guilt. It doesn't see our actions, it knows our essence. Follow the energy of love. You'll likely be brought to places where you have chosen to separate from love. In that moment, ask yourself if you'd be willing to love that moment, the experience that created the choice, the people involved and express gratitude. Then allow yourself to just feel.
I've been playing with this a lot lately. It's like having the blinds opened in a house that has been in the dark for so long. I am seeing all my choices and the limitations I created to experience everything fully. I am receiving more and more opportunities to bring harmony and healing to all the judgment for the choices I have made and all the habits I have created around those limitations. I am allowing myself to be the very qualities I have avoided because I judged them wrong. I am surrendering into being everything and knowing I can chose from my Being rather than my limitations. It's an ongoing process and yet, the results are immense.
Second, shift your outlook on love. I call these the "Love ifs."
- What if instead of falling in love, you abounded or sprang into love? On a trampoline, it's not the falling, it's the flying that is so damn cool!
Wendy Reese is a lifestyle strategist, author, and guide specializing in being whole. You can learn more at www.wholebeinginc.com