"SAY SOMETHING funny!" said a reporter to Noel Coward. He responded: "Kangaroo!" "But you're a star," said the woman. Say something!"Noel Coward: "Twinkle--twinkle!"
- I hoped John Edwards wouldn't go to jail so I am satisfied with the North Carolina jury's limited decision that he didn't take Bunny Mellon's money for any political reason. (Mrs. Mellon paid the gift tax on the money she gave him.)
This horrible, perfectly awful man--who had the nerve to run for president while cheating on his dying wife and trying to cheat on voters who might have elected him--has four children. He has long-suffering parents. They have all endured enough from his behavior and it is better for them to have him free, to make amends.
- WHILE writing of that interesting mess of a movie "Snow White and the Huntsman," I expected it to be a hit. And it is. There is, after all, Charlize Theron and who could resist going to see her after those reviews? And I remember that, while sitting through its excruciating excesses, I was wondering where in the hell they found such dismal places?
- SPEAKING OF interesting messes of movies... Any minute now Magnolia Pictures will release "Bel Ami" starring Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci and Kristin Scott Thomas. It is based on Guy de Maupassant's then-shocking novel about Georges Duroy, a talentless opportunist who uses his charm to worm his way into the literary and social world of Paris--mostly through his success with women. He is a cad.
Now, if you think Mr. Pattinson looks miserable as the teenage vampire of the "Twilight" films, wait till you see him mope, wince and weep his way through "Bel Ami." He is a cad, but one who is obviously off his meds. He is a rank opportunist and a self-pitying victim. Maybe this is the truth of de Maupassant's Duroy. I am not familiar with the source material. "Bel Ami" was not required reading in Austin, during my college years. It was probably banned!
And then there is the matter of Pattinson's appearance. When the movie starts out, he's starving in a garret someplace, with only a few cockroaches for friends. So, his pale, unshaven, red-eyed countenance is understandable. But even after his character--nicknamed "Bel Ami" by his besotted ladies -- has moved up in the world, Pattinson still looks damp, pallid and unsavory. Of course, this is France in the 1800s. Were we to travel back in time, for sure we'd find most everybody rather "unsavory." Perhaps Mr. Pattinson and directors Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod were going for realism?
Mr. Pattinson is not the world's worst actor, and his performance probably suffers because the film seems rather rushed. (We don't get to know much about Georges Duroy,
although we do know, because he says it, "It is not enough to be loved!")
Also, and this is even more of a pronounced problem, Pattinson plays almost all his scenes with three of the most charismatic and talented actresses around--the above mentioned Uma, Christina and Kristin. We are all too familiar with Pattinson's interactions with his "Twilight"
co-star Kristen Stewart, who is not exactly a wildly challenging performer. (Well, it might be a challenge to get her to change her expression!)
The women make this movie. In fact, they make the movie well worth seeing! Miss Thurman plays Pattinson's initial patroness, a wildly independent creature who announces upon their first encounter: "I will not be your mistress!" Along with "I am not like other women. I will
not accept authority!" The gangly/graceful, beautiful/odd-looking Uma is fascinating, as usual. She is too modern for costume pieces, yet she is also, perversely, just right. She is
Christina Ricci is the woman who truly loves Bel Ami, but cannot help him rise. She is truly touching, with her sweetheart face and enormous eyes. And, she is astonishingly youthful-looking. I don't know Christina's actual age--she did begin as a child actress--but she has
managed to preserve the flesh of juicy adolescence. She doesn't look a day older than she did in her breakout film, 1998's "The Opposite of Sex." But now she is much more beautiful.
Kristin Scott Thomas plays the elegant, modest matron swept away by the irresistible Bel Ami. She ends up forfeiting much more than she bargained for. Also on hand, in a small but pivotal, role is Holliday Grainger as the high-born girl who is ripe for plucking--and marriage. TV viewers know her as the increasingly cynical Lucrezia of Showtime's "The Borgias."
These women are all terrific. And the film looks wonderful, unlike the last period piece I saw. That was "The Raven," which had the appearance of having been filmed by the SyFy Channel for 15 bucks.
Because of these "Bel Ami" ladies, I can't in good conscience say, "stay away!" And despite my reservations, I'm not sure about Mr. Pattinson. I think he is trying very hard. Too complex a character at this point in his career? Or a complex character not fleshed-out enough in the