UN Reports On Jolie-azation Of Third World

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UN Reports On Jolie-azation Of Third World

The United Nations today called for a temporary ban on Hollywood celebrities traveling to Africa in order to adopt third world children. "What with famine, war, and disease, the African continent cannot afford to lose any more of its youth to adoption by celebrities," Halie Okafar, Kenyan Under Secretary of the Keeping Our Children Away From Celebrities Ministry, said at a press conference.

Many social scientists have begun to note the trend, calling it the "Jolie-azation" of the Third World. Minister Okafar stated, "Yes, of course, we all want to be adopted by Angelina and Brad. Heck, if the Clooney's are listening. I'm available." But, Minister Okafar warned, "first it's Angelina Jolie, then Madonna, and next thing you know, parents will hide their children at even the rumor that David Hasselhoff is in town."

When asked when a ban might be lifted, Minister Okafar said, "Hard to say. You Westerners have trouble controlling your celebrities. Yes, you held off Ebola, but what have you done to end that scourge known as the Kardashians? You see our point, yes?"