Photographer: Blair Hopkins
I was really looking forward to my perfect Old World Pizza made with thin crust, olive oil, crushed garlic, and black pepper, so when the bartender placed my steamy pizza on the tray in front of me, I was surprised to see that it had tomato sauce included. My first thought was, "She made a mistake, but no big deal -- I'll eat it," but when I went to reach for a slice, a funny thing happened: I pulled my hand back and decided to let her know, "I actually didn't order sauce on my pizza." She looked at me oddly, but then apologized, removed the pizza, and re-ordered my pie. I was happy that I hadn't settled, and I only had to wait for another Old World Pizza (minus the sauce) to be prepared.
On September 15, 2016 I had my first hypnotherapy session with renowned hypnotist Richard Barker, and ever since that day I have become "Unfuckablewith."
Permission: Richard Barker
Days before my session, I was feeling a little perplexed and yet still curious about the hypnotizing process, and I wondered if I could even allow myself to let go of control to truly "go under." I don't consider myself a control freak, but the vulnerability I anticipated made me feel a little nervous. And, sure enough, about 15 minutes into the session, as I felt myself drifting deep into a relaxed state, my anxieties started yelling at me to stop the session, jump off the bed, and resume my normal, protected life. Instead of disrupting the session, though, I consciously decided to stay in my relaxation mode and just observe my discomfort. I was eager to try something new to get myself off the endless hamster wheel of fear-based decisions and to start choosing to live up to my highest potential of success, happiness, prosperity, and purpose. I was ready to remove any and all subconscious blocks that kept me stuck.
To do this, I had to let go and trust.
Consciously, we can be as capable and motivated as an Olympic athlete, a New York Times best-selling author, or a Pulitzer Prize-winning scientist, but in the end, it's not our conscious thoughts that are running the show--it's our subconscious. A mental trick I often share with my clients involves asking them: "You know that awesome thought you have about losing weight?" (Or any other personally meaningful goal.) "You know how you're feeling all-in this time? What was you're second thought right after that first inspiring thought? The one that told you it wasn't going to happen. That's the subconscious mind keeping us in the status quo." Hypnotherapy, however, can help tap into our subconscious mind so that we begin to consciously let go of unnecessary fear, anxiety, and worry that hold us back. And I promise, you won't end up barking like a dog or doing any behavior that doesn't suit you.
Richard explained hypnosis to me this way:
"Hypnosis achieves an altered state of consciousness and should only be performed by a trained, professional hypnotherapist. It offers a heightened state of suggestibility, making it a powerful force in overcoming fears, conquering phobias, and reaching health, wellness, and professional goals. It cannot, however, force an individual into acting or behaving in a manner inconsistent with their morals.
Hypnosis gives you the staying power to stop smoking, to achieve significant weight loss, and to resolve many other issues. So many have tried cold-turkey methods for quitting smoking or over-eating and have failed multiple times, and so they begin to feel defeated and hopeless. Hypnosis can offer these people an alternative means to fulfill their goals -- for good."
For me, hypnotherapy brought to my awareness that, in many areas of my life, I was still settling and not making waves because it seemed easier. This included little things like eating the pizza I didn't order, but it also extended to more serious personal and professional concessions that had larger consequences. Since the hypnosis session "cleaned house" for me, mentally speaking, I now take a closer look at red flags when they appear, and I'm willing to walk away long before a major consequence happens.
This is where I decided that -- my favorite, new, self-descriptive word is: "Unfuckablewith." As soon as I realized that I was settling, I felt empowered to make better decisions that protected my own happiness and success. Suddenly, it felt like no one and nothing could push me around any more. My subconscious wires got untangled and I became Unfuckablewith. When I became aware that, by letting my best interests pass me by because fighting for my desires seemed scary and uncomfortable, I realized that I was the one who was really fucking myself over, and I'm the only person that has the power to make a lasting change.
To learn more about hypnotherapy and Richard Barker visit his website at http://incrediblehypnotist.com/
Sandra LaMorgese Ph.D. is an expert in personal and professional reinvention, authentic living, communication, and bridging the gap between sexuality and a lifestyle that focuses on holistic health of the mind, body and spirit. She is the author of Switch: Time for a Change, a memoir of her journey from holistic practitioner to professional dominatrix at 55-years-old after losing everything, and her passion and purpose is to empower others towards healthy authentic living. To learn more about Sandra and receive your FREE eBook "5 Steps for Better Communication, Sex, and Happiness (Did I mention better sex?) visit www.sandralamorgese.com.