Hello. Are you a female homosexual inhabiting a densely populated urban area? Are you having a hard time understanding lesbians? DO you find their behavior perplexing, unsavory, and erratic? Is it you? Yes, partially. It’s always a little you. But there are rules you can follow that will make being you less of a problem. Here are twenty mildly accurate, widely unspoken rules for the urban lesbian.
Lesbian nights are not a time to smile and befriend new people. They are a time to solidify your status by huddling into your friends, looking cool and Instagramming. Any attempts to do otherwise without an ulterior motive (sex, club promotion) will be seen as a sign of weakness.