Officials in Washington may have good intentions, but they've messed with the wrong American treat.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture recently posted a fruit- and yogurt-based snack on its website, deeming it a "Strawberry S'Mores." This is what it looks like:
Now, now. A s'mores this is not. To be a s'mores, a recipe must contain both marshmallows and chocolate. This is a prerequisite. There are no blurred lines here. Men, women and children alike would not mistake this strawberry concoction for a s'mores, despite its use of graham crackers.
Other than the graham, the USDA's recipe calls for strawberries a dollop of low-fat yogurt.
Yogurt.
Just imagine the chaos that would ensue if a camp counselor told a bunch of nine-year-olds it was time for s'mores and presented the wee campers with ... low-fat yogurt.
Yogurt.
The USDA is excited about its creation, though. "This quick, easy, and mouth-watering recipe is a perfect afternoon snack for the early days of summer," the recipe page reads. "Kids will love that they can make it themselves, and parents will love that it’s an inexpensive and healthy treat!"
Some kids will love that they can make this thing themselves, and some kids will even enjoy eating the snack. But let us provide our children with proper education to ensure they can identify a s'mores from something else. Here is a short lesson plan:
This is a s'mores:
Damon Dahlen/HuffPost
This is not a s'mores:
S'mores:
Vanessa Baked
Not: 
Yes:
Brite And Bubbly
No: 
Got it?
The average American diet could definitely use some cleaning up, and many people could benefit from trading in their s'mores for this low-sugar recipe. But let us call a s'more a s'more, and maintain the nation's food-naming dignity. A strawberry and yogurt blend sandwiched between two graham crackers is not a s'mores, but if the USDA is in the market for a cutesy name, here a couple of suggestions: Strawberry Graham, A Whipped Fruity Doodle or Berry Good Treat. There you have it, free of charge.
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