Valentine's Day Gifts Guaranteed To Crack You Up.

1. Bake Someone Happy.

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A cookie cutter that'll give grandma a stroke.

2. Pump Up Your Smartphone

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The best way to get her to put the phone down during Valentine's dinner.

3. A Book Written By The Male Gene

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What makes this 150-page book so special? All the pages are BLANK.


4. The Line That Got Cut From Jerry McGuire

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What Tom Cruise should have said to Renee Zellweger.


5. Ribbit Ribbit!


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If he doesn't work out there's always the piranha tank.

5. Let's Get Schwasted!

What's Valentine's Day without a glass of red wine. Or two or three or seven?


6. A Handful Of Love

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Foam isn't the only thing that'll rise from this glass.


7. I Heart You

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You'll have him eating out of your hand.


8. Wiggle It Just A Little Bit

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Hear-shaped pasta. Now that's amore!

Michael Alvear is the author of Book of Things Better Than Blow Jobs and blogs at the portion control blog, Eatitlater.net