COMEDY
PAID FOR BY VITAMINWATER

"vitaminwater Congratulates Brandon: The Only Recipient Of The 31-Under-31 Award"

Having made a name for himself as a self-employed entrepreneur, Brandon’s Business founder, Brandon, recently gained notoriety through shameless self-promotion by putting his phone number on a vitaminwater® squeezed bottle, and even going so far as to plaster his face on a billboard in Manhattan’s historic Flatiron district, wearing his signature headset. Brandon’s endeavors made him the strongest (and only) candidate for the 31-Under-31 because anyone who tries that hard deserves to be recognized – even if it’s just so that the effort feels less painful for the rest of us.

A handshake is a like a lemon: firm, round, and best enjoyed with strangers. Brandon

When asked about the award, Brandon remarked: “Yeah, frankly it was disappointing that an innovator such as myself didn’t make the 30-Under-30 list, but it’s such an honor to be included in the 31-Under-31, an award that I certainly didn’t create myself.”

He describes his job as a combination of providing full-service solutions to move the needle for clients looking for buy in, while identifying core competencies and best practices for mitigating risk and providing ROI with zero-based budgeting. He refuses to put this in layman’s terms.

Don’t make memories, make deals. Brandon

Brandon’s prolific career advice on LinkedIn—and during every personal encounter—has elevated him to the self-appointed status of “cross-platform influencer.” His message is consistent: he is a firm believer in the power of networking. He likes to give back by helping numerous people “bring their A-Game” and consistently “provides value-add” through his daily #3PMotivation.

His current projects include sharing more #3PMotivation for his loyal followers, researching synonyms for “synergy,” continuing to reminisce about his club lacrosse days, and attending a conference for winners who win big in big business. “Although I did not receive an official invite, it goes without question that my presence will be an invaluable addition,” states Brandon.

Brandon looks forward to you joining his personal network at www.linkedin.com/in/brandonsnetwork.

This profile was created as a part of an advertisement for vitaminwater. Brandon

 

Networking isn’t easy for everyone, but it does come naturally to Brandon. He might not be a real guy, but you know him – he’s the one who is always self-promoting and saying “synergy.” He has that job that sounds great...but what is it that he does? No one seems to know - still, he’s very, very busy.

So, grab a vitaminwater and catch up on Brandon’s daily #3PMotivation. His inane career advice probably won’t help you get the job, but his blind confidence is something we can all learn from.

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