VP Debate: The Cliff Notes

Democratic U.S. vice presidential nominee Senator Tim Kaine (L) and Republican U.S. vice presidential nominee Governor Mike P
Democratic U.S. vice presidential nominee Senator Tim Kaine (L) and Republican U.S. vice presidential nominee Governor Mike Pence discuss an issue during their vice presidential debate at Longwood University in Farmville, Virginia, U.S., October 4, 2016.

1) Shut up, Elaine, the men are talking.

2) Pence: There is no such thing as racial bias because that last cop who shot a black guy was also black. Kaine: Um... that’s not how it works.

3) Kaine: It’s all the zingers you can deliver in 60 seconds, right? That’s the game? I’m gonna kill it!

4) Kaine: How can you defend all of the awful things your candidate has said? Here, let me list them for you... Pence: How dare you say those horrible things!? You’re the worst!

5) Kaine: No, but really, that time when he said- Pence: Never happened. Can we talk about email now?

6) Seriously, Elaine. The MEN are TALKING.

7) “What would make Putin respect your running mate?” Pence: Strength (that’s what he calls his penis) Kaine: [facepalm]

8) Pence: My running mate is honest and trustworthy, while yours is a mean liar who used her family foundation to give 90 percent of the money to herself and trade favors. Willy Wonka: Scratch that; reverse it.

9) Kaine: I personally value the sanctity of life, but do not think it is a government’s place to tell women what to do; we need to trust the women of America to make their own moral and health choices. Pence: My favorite book is The Handmaid’s Tale.

And... scene.

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