There is one thing you can do today if you want better sleep in 2017. And it’s very simple.
Sleep is becoming the one priority when it comes to health. Even influencers like Gwyneth Paltrow have claimed that 2017 is the year when clean sleeping will replace clean eating as a health priority.
But Gwyneth probably has a support staff to take care of all the details that can overwhelm the average parent. For the rest of us, we get to the end of the day only to discover our evenings slip away. Everyone is over-scheduled and over-worked. Before you know it, a calm and intentional bedtime routine is as elusive as sleep itself.
There is an answer to get better sleep for you and your family and it begins with one simple step:
Observe your bedtime routine.
You don’t have to fix anything right away. Genuine positive change never comes from fixing from the outside-in. Stephanie Bennett Vogt is an expert on clearing from the inside out. And by clearing, she means creating space for better things. So while this post is all about clearing physical space, the lesson is an important one:
For better sleep, observe without attachment.
The thing is, we all have bedtime routines. They just don’t serve us or help us transition to sleep. We can’t change these habits until we acknowledge them.
What do I mean when I say we all have bedtime routines? Here's my story.
During the years I couldn’t sleep, my evenings looked like this:
- Come home from work.
- Get distracted by social media, email, and phone messages.
- Realize I hadn’t worked out for the day and ratchet myself up to do a super aerobic/weight-lifting workout.
- Comb through the refrigerator for something to eat and piece together whatever was there.
- Realize it was 9 o’clock and I hadn’t done anything “fun” for myself.
- Avoid reading or taking a nurturing bath because...well, was that fun? Really? Shouldn’t I do something that was “fun” on paper?
- Get frozen with indecision, watch TV until 10 and think...hmmm, if I get up at 6, I can do my workout first thing and have more time in the evening.
- Instead of wearing PJs, dressed in my sweats so I could go straight from bed to working out.
- Tossed and turned ‘til 1 and slept in until the last possible moment so I could get to work on time.
- The cycle starts all over again.
Sound familiar?
How did I break that routine? The routine that didn't serve my health, or my goals?
It was when I became pregnant that the evenings became more routine. Mornings as well. After a few weeks, sleeping became a priority that my body made time for. Eating for two clarified how I wanted to plan my meals. Sleep experts agree that, planning your meals and eating at the same time each day is one of the important things to do when you want to get more sleep. That's why it's part of the free Bedtime Blueprint which you can get here.
I'd like to say that our family sleep habits and transitions evolved easily over the years, but that wasn't the case. From the toddler years on through the end of middle school, nighttime routines and sleep went well. Maybe it's because reading together was a key and because we kept after-school activities to a minimum. Maybe I was lucky. I speak with parents who are having difficulty making a transition from baby routines to toddler routines and then routines for early elementary aged children. Those first 18 months require constant adjustment. Parents need to switch it up. And switching it up along with constant adjustments don't naturally go with more supportive routines and habits.
This one thing to do for better sleep - observe - will serve your children as well.
Let's say you've got the bath, toothbrush and toilet time down, but when it comes to tuck-in time you're hearing "Just one more story! Please!" And...well, who can resist? But that gets a little old. Plus you're creating a habit that children will associate with bedtime. Possibly for the rest of their lives.
There are times when it's easier to observe mistakes with detachment when you see that they're shared mistakes. The Baby Sleep Site has a good run down of 5 Common Baby and Toddler Bedtime Mistakes here. Read through the list - see if you can recognize your own family's routines.
What’s working for you and/or your family? What’s not working? Is it challenging to observe and not judge? Be detached?