New love is magical! It's hypnotizing, euphoric, and enchanting, with a sense of deja vu and intense attraction. Suddenly, someone who was a complete stranger a few weeks ago is now the person that you think about the most. Catching yourself daydreaming of wonderful memories and having to redirect your thoughts over and over again -- isn't that what we all want? I certainly do!
If you've been lucky enough to share those amazing feelings with a partner, then you know how exhilarating it can be. On the other hand, realizing that you are dating a person who does not share the same feelings for you is frustrating and unsettling. We've all been there, right?
What's important is that you are able to quickly recognize when your feelings aren't being reciprocated -- and once you're aware, to adjust your behaviors and your feelings accordingly. After all, what's the benefit in spending your time worrying about a person who isn't showing as much interest as you are? With that in mind, here are six warning signs that the person you're dating just isn't that into you.
1. Dating a Person Who Doesn't Consistently Return Your Calls or Texts.
OK, this one might be obvious. When a person is excited about a new love interest, they're eager to stay in touch and communicate with their partner. If you're anything like me, you would also check your phone for text messages or missed calls more frequently, just to be certain that you hadn't missed any communication. After all, you wouldn't want to do anything that might disappoint your partner or jeopardize the relationship. And when you receive a new text or call, you are happy to return the message. You should expect nothing less from your partner.
2. Dating a Person Who's Always 'Too Busy'
No matter how busy a person is, if you or your relationship is important and a high priority, they will find the time or make the time for you. If they don't make the time, a relationship just might not be a priority.
Don't take it personally or question whether you're good enough. It's not a reflection of you, period. Avoid making excuses and fooling yourself into believing that you can wait it out. The more thought and energy you invest while waiting, the stronger your feelings will become. So, don't waste another moment thinking about their situation or wondering when it might change. Move forward and find someone who is on the same page as you are. In the end, you will be happy that you did.
3. Dating a Person Who Won't Commit Because They're 'Afraid of Getting Hurt'
Certainly it's appropriate to learn from our experiences and to be cautious with our heart. At the same time, when you meet that one special person who turns your world upside down, you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep that person in your life. Whatever fears you might have won't come close to the fear of losing the one you really love. If a person won't commit because they are "afraid of getting hurt," then move on and find the one that's afraid of losing you.
4. Dating a Person Who Keeps Your Relationship a Secret on Social Media
Does the person you're dating avoid posting photos of the two of you together? Is that person otherwise active on social media? If yes, have you two discussed this? New couples who are excited about a future together usually want to share their happiness with friends and family. If that's not happening in your situation, you should certainly ask why?
5. Dating a Person Who is Giving You 'Mixed Messages'
In all relationships, we communicate simultaneously on at least two levels; what we say, and what we do. Usually, a person's verbal and actual behaviors convey the same message. Mixed messages are inconsistencies in communication, where a person may say one thing, but act on another. Getting mixed messages from a person you really like makes them difficult to understand, and harder to trust.
Sometimes, partners enter a relationship with different goals in mind. One person invests in the relationship in hopes of a formal commitment, while the other begins more casually and refuses to make a formal commitment. Still, they act like a couple and reap all the benefits of a relationship. The partner who wants the commitment refuses to accept what they are being told in favor of what they want to believe. Don't get caught up in this arrangement, especially if a long term relationship is what you want. Doing so ultimately results in feelings of resentment and frustration and fosters a relationship void of honesty, emotional intimacy, and trust. Make sure the person you're dating shares your plans for the future and communicates a consistent message with both their words and their actions.
6. Dating a Person Who is Maintaining a Separate 'Friendship' With an Ex-Partner
Sharing your life with someone involves developing relationships with your partner's friends and family. Old friends who want to maintain a relationship with your partner should want to befriend you too, right? If your partner wants to maintain a separate friendship with their ex-partner, you must question their motives and the appropriateness of their friendship.
New relationships should be exciting, passionate, and easy. When you really like someone, you want them to know how valuable and important the relationship is. And, you want to know that your feelings are reciprocated -- so , you treat them with as much affection and consideration as you can.
That is exactly how you should be treated in return. Don't settle for anything less. Remember, if you're busy waiting, wondering, and worrying about this relationship, you just might miss the opportunity to meet the right one.