Do you ever feel like there's not enough creepy/cute Japanese girls staring at you through your iPhone 24 hours a day?
Well, I've got some good news: An enterprising gentleman from Japan named Kendo Kobayashi has produced an app that will fulfill all those desires and more. The app is called "Watching Cute Girl," and that is exactly what it delivers: An always-on view of a cute girl who watches you, giggles, utters one of over 100 pre-recorded phrases and more.
From the app description in the iTunes Store (in what we can only assume is a translation of the Japanese):
With more than 180 different dynamic image patterns, this watching cute girl can express a wide variety of expressions. As her feelings are up lifted, you might hear her saying unimaginable words.
● Whispering Feature
The little cute girl will whisper one or two words once in a while to remind her presence.● Aha (supportive) Feature
Nicely react to the sound. You can have private conversation with her or together get involved in social conversation with others.● Don’t touch Feature
She will sweetly get angry if the gadget is lifted or touched.● Memories Feature
This [WATCHING CUTE GIRL] marks the memories she had seen.● Sensitivity Feature
When this [WATCHIN CUTE GARL] get emotional, she shows some friendly attitude.
The Cute Girl's official website suggests that you can use the video stream of the girl as inspiration while you work or as a dining partner as you eat alone.
It's hard to really describe just how insanely creepy and unsettling this app is in practice. The girl's head is framed against a bright white background, and when you open the app, all you see is a video of her, looking back at you, not saying anything, smiling coyly one moment, looking bored the next. Her insistent gaze never subsides, and every so often, yes, she speaks a few soft words in Japanese, then -- and this part is somehow even more unsettling -- she stares at you as though expecting an answer. Silence.
And what are you -- you! -- what are you to say?
The app is, alas, a gag of some kind; Kotaku explains that Kendo Kobayashi is a comedian and that the developers are also behind a hack for Kinect that enlarges women's breasts. And, yes, there are outright humorous elements to Cute Watching Girl, such as the following "Kobayashi feature" described in iTunes:
● Kobayashi Feature
When this function is switched ON, she will call you Mr. Kobayashi.
Only all those who are called Mr. Kobayashi in the country can enjoy this app.
Still, though, Cute Watching Girl touches a nerve when you fire it up and spend a few quiet moments with it. Is there any doubt that some gentlemen really would love an app that consists solely of a live video feed of a young Japanese girl gazing adoringly upon him?
On that note: You can download the Watching Cute Girl app for $0.99 on the iTunes Store. No discount, unfortunately, if you happen to be named Kobayashi.
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