We Are Going Backwards

I feel like we are going backwards.

I got married, had children, got divorced, came out, and then raised my kids as a single dad back at a time when none of that was discussed, accepted, or embraced. In some ways it was okay because at least I knew what I was dealing with.

It was a backwards time but I learned how to survive.

I kept my head down and I plowed ahead, going through milestone after milestone as my children grew. As I grew, and as a society we all grew.

When my kids went (happily) to college and I married my husband after seventeen years, I thought we were all moving forward. I thought we had gotten to a time when we could discuss our various backgrounds, accept each other for who we are, and yes even embrace our differences.

Knowing of course that deep down we are all the same. We are all humans and we just want to be accepted, loved, and happy.

I was warned, though, that it could all turn against us.

When #SCOTUS declared everyone equal, I had friends who warned me that we may have angered a bigger beast. When I wrote my book about my journey as a father, I had friends who warned me that perhaps I shouldn't be so public about it...I could be putting myself on a hit list.

I kept my head down and I plowed ahead...thinking that we were all moving forward. Thinking that I was moving forward. Thinking that our society was moving forward.

Then the election year hit, and it's hitting me hard. We are going backwards.

Now we are talking about punishing women based on the choices they make. I have a daughter, so how could I be cool with that? I have a mother and a sister and my son will probably eventually marry a woman, so how could I be cool with that? I have tons of female friends, so how could I be cool with that?

I'm a human being, so how could I be cool with that?

And now we are legalizing discrimination - denying service, altering opportunities to make a living, and putting human beings into sectors of the accepted and the un-accepted.

We are dividing our society. We are going backwards.

Societies are supposed to move forward, not backwards. We are supposed to break down the walls that hold us back. We are supposed to help each other succeed.

Hate holds us back, but equality sets us free.

I am personally going to fight the hatred, and push for equality. I owe it to my children, my husband, my friends, my parents, my sister, my friends, and to myself.

We need to move forward, not backwards.