We Have A Heart On For Kooky Valentine's Day Gifts

Your Valentine wants a pink gun purse and pizza slice pasties -- trust us!

Everyone thinks they have a big heart. But are you willing to show it? And are you funny?

We know humor is subjective. But we've got a bunch of Valentine's Gifts that we at HuffPost Weird News think are funny -- like this giant heart costume from HalloweenCostumes.com. How would you like to be greeted by your loved one in this outfit?


Here's our guide to making your funny Valentine just a little bit funnier. Enjoy.

Pink Gun-Shaped Purse
It's good to have a purse for any occasion. We're still trying to figure out the most appropriate occasion to carry around a handbag that looks like a handgun. ($48, Unique Vintage.com)
I Love Farting Mug
Some people feel true love is when you can fart in front of the person without fear of embarrassment. Of course, embarrassment is probably not a concern of anyone who would drink coffee, tea or hot chocolate from an "I Love Farting" coffee cup. Yes, it does make farting noises. Thank you for asking. ($9.99, Fun.com)
Adult Heart Costume
It's one thing to wear your heart on your sleeve, it's another to wear it all over your body. Hopefully, the person you're wearing it for will realize you want to be their valentine and not just telling people you suffer from cardiac problems. ($39.99, HalloweenCostumes.com)
Pizza Pasties
Honestly, wearing pizza-shaped pasties can go two ways: You either look saucy or really cheesy. ($9.99, Pastease.com)
Procreating Pig Salt And Pepper Shakers
These procreating pig salt and pepper shakers are a subtle way to tell your lover you feel like makin' bacon. It could also be used for sex ed if you're not careful where you put it. ($9.99, BzanyParty.com)
Pizza Is My Valentine Sweatshirt
David Moye
This sweatshirt is either a sign of true empowerment, telling the world you don't need another person to be happy. It could also be a pitiful cry for help. You make the call. ($25.99, Bonanza.com)
Star Wars Aprons
If you wear an apron of Han Solo or Princess Leia for Valentine's Day, something will definitely be "awakened" in your lover. Whether it's the Force or not is up to you. Just make sure whatever happens next doesn't lead to another Kylo Ren. ($17.99, Fun.com)
Tandem Shot Glasses
Some couples crave closeness -- even when they drink. Thanks to the Wingman Tandem Shot Glass, extremely-close-to-the-point-where-it's-kinda-creepy couples can also engage in substance abuse at the exact same time. Ahhhh. ($8.95, Drunkmall.com)
Boyfriend Body Pillow
Can't be with your valentine for whatever reason (business, prison, UFO abduction)? The next best thing could be a pillow with a built-in right arm. Or not. It depends on your definition of "next best thing," I suppose. ($27.16, Rakuten.com)
AK47 Little Black Dress
Valentine's Day will get off to a bang when you show up with a sexy little black dress. But not just any little black dress -- one that features an AK47 on the front. The only thing that stops a bad dress with a gun is a good dress with a gun. ($45, Silencer.co)
Fry Love You
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. He'll know "eggs-actly" what you're thinking when you serve him eggs shaped into the letters that spell "love." Actually, what you'll be thinking is, "Why can't I get the yolk to go in the "O" like in the picture?" Just keeping it real. ($4.99, Fun.com)
Cheeseburger Hat
A man who can look sexy in a hamburger hat is like a properly cooked steak: Very rare. ($11.79, Overstock.com)
His And Her Zombie Cologne
Want to bring new life to a dead romance? Get some zombie cologne. The undead fragrance comes in his and her bottles and has an air of dried leaves, earth, mildew, moss and mushrooms. It's to die for. ($27.49 for his, $22.99 for her, Overstock.com)
Lip Plumpers
People do crazy things for love. For instance, they suck on little red bowls in hopes of plumping up their lips. ($14.99, FullLips.com)
Unicorn Spit Lube
I think I finally figured out why unicorns are so rare: Someone is capturing them and harnessing their saliva for lube! This unique Unicorn Spit lube tastes just like donuts, which might be the most tasteful thing about this product. ($5.61, DrunkMall.com)
Perverted Gnome Statue
Let's face it: There is a small percentage of people for whom this perverted little gnome speaks. I'd love to see how the person who gets this for Valentine's Day reacts. Or maybe I don't. ($21.99, GardenFun.com)
Orgasms In A Can
Of course, an orgasm is a great thing to give someone on Valentine's Day -- or any day for that matter. If you can't give said orgasm in person, you can certainly send this noisy can that provides six types of noisy orgasms. How your valentine reacts to getting a can of orgasms will certainly provide a clue of your future compatability. ($4.99, TheGadgetExperience.com)
Instant Underpants
Valentine's Day is about romance, not practicality. However, any person thoughtful enough to ensure you have clean underwear available at any second is truly a keeper. And your mom will approve. ($8.30, Bonanza.com)
Tank Top That Will Be Catnip To Cat Ladies
If seducing a cat lady is your M.O., a tank that reads, "You had me at Meow!" is probably as effective as your other option: a romantic date at Petco. ($24.99, AllPosters.com)
Hickey Stick
Yes, you love your valentine, but things sometimes happen in the copy room with Rocco in accounting. When those situations arise, the Hickey Stick will come to the rescue. It covers up that unsightly blemish that occurs when someone starts macking on your neckbone like it's a sauce-covered barbecue rib. (19.99, G2Organics)
Her Side His Side Pillowcases
These pillows pretty much sum up modern love. Ladies, this might be a good way to open up a dialogue about the shared closet space. ($19.99, Rakuten.com)
Batman Boxers
Lingerie is a popular Valentine's Day gift for men to give women, if a bit self-serving. Certainly, women can return the favor with these super sexy boxer shorts featuring the Caped Crusader and his Boy Wonder. ($16.95, TVStoreOnline.com)
Makeup Case That Also Charges Phones
How sad is this: Your valentine gets all made up to take a sexy selfie for you and then can't because the phone ran out of juice. That will never happen again thanks to the genius technology behind the "I'mUp," a makeup compact that simultaneously charges phones. Thank you technology for feeding my narcissism even more! ($91.27, Melely.com)
Unicorn Tape Dispenser
Finding true love can feel like finding a unicorn. Let your valentine know how rare your love is with this horny tape dispenser. ($14.99, AlwaysFits.com)
Fan Hands
Want to let that special someone know you're their cheerleader without wearing a short skirt or getting into creepy roleplay stuff? How about FanHands? These gloves are coated in plastic and make a lot of noise when clapped together. They almost make other types of noisemakers -- like thunder sticks and vuvuzuelas -- seem mellow by comparison. ($9.99, Fanhands.com)
Toe Bling
You've heard of toe rings, but what about toe bling? It's better than toe jam. These costume jewelry pieces for the toes are perfect for separating the tootsies after a pedicure or for that special woman who likes people staring at her feet. ($12.99, DipIntoPretty.com)
Doughnut Ring
I doughnut know anyone who wouldn't enjoy a ring topped with America's favorite pastry. ($28.00, Bonanza.com)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Hooded Pajamas
Want to make your man feel like a hero without freezing in the winter chill? Pajamas in the guise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles could certainly make for some interesting roleplay. You could always tell your man that green is a slimming color. You'd be lying but he won't know. ($39.99, TVStoreOnline)
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