Wedding Gift Gone Awry Prompts Crazy Etiquette War Between Brides And Guest

The Craziest Blow-Up You'll Ever See Over A Wedding Gift
gift boxes with golden ribbon...
gift boxes with golden ribbon...

It is perhaps the most controversial wedding gift of our time: a basket of food presented to two brides that went so horribly awry, it spawned a text and Facebook messaging war that got published in a local newspaper and has to be seen to be believed., a Canadian news outlet, recently released the heated back-and-forth between a wedding guest and a same-sex couple, who were clearly disappointed in his gift: A basket of food that included tri-color pasta, salsas, balsamic vinegar, Marshmallow Fluff and Sour Patch Kids.

After the wedding, one of the brides texted the guest to say that she is gluten intolerant and that she'd like a receipt for the items. When the guest ignored the receipt request, the other bride then followed up. Here's her message, via TheSpec:

I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding... People give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate... And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads up for the future :) [all sic]

Things devolved quickly from there. More insults were hurled about who is cheap and who is ungrateful. Here's a particularly biting message from the guest:

it's obvious you have the etiquette of a twig, I couldn't care less of what you think about the gift you received, "normal" people would welcome anything given, you wanna have a party, you pay for it, DON'T expect me to, I don't care what you or anybody thinks, you should just be happy your sham of a marriage is legal dude! [all sic]

While all involved have clearly lost it by the end of their correspondence, the situation prompts some interesting questions. Is it ever acceptable for a bride to express displeasure with a gift and ask for a receipt? As a guest, is it OK to choose your own non-registry gift? And is everyone really giving cash these days?

The short answer is, it's complicated, according to etiquette expert Anna Post, who spoke to The Huffington Post about the incident.

"[The guest] is absolutely correct that the choice of gift is 100 percent up to the giver and there’s no minimim or maximum amount," said Post, author of Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th Edition, which covers weddings extensively. "It's always up to you and your budget and your relationship to your couple."

Post noted that while a basket of food is indeed an atypical wedding gift, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. She also stressed that cash-only wedding gifts are not sweeping the nation (here in the U.S. or in Canada).

She went on to admit that the gluten-free situation makes the receipt request an acceptable move on the part of the bride. But she said that to suggest a gift is meant to offset the cost of hosting people is "the tackiest thing in the world."

(Hat tip, Jezebel )

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