A Big Week For TV, Charlie Sheen Gets Roasted

Monday, September 19

"8" will finally get its one-night Broadway staging Monday at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre in New York. The Dustin Lance Black play, a benefit for the American Foundation for Equal Rights, follows the Perry v. Schwarzenegger trial to overturn Prop. 8, the gay marriage bill that blocked the right to marry for gay and lesbian couples in California. News of the cast began trickling out last month up until last week, revealing a star-studded lineup including Morgan Freeman, Rob Reiner and Marisa Tomei.

This is either some genius planning between networks or a very lucky coincidence. "Two and a Half Men" premieres tonight with its new star, Ashton Kutcher, on the same night Comedy Central will be roasting Charlie Sheen. Tune in to see if Ashton can fill Charlie's shoes, and if Charlie can handle roastmaster Jeff Ross' jabs at the Sheen clan. "Two and a Half Men" airs at 9 p.m. ET on CBS, Charlie's Roast at 10 p.m. ET on Comedy Central.

Tuesday, September 20

Tony Bennett has staged comebacks before, and at 85, he's still looking to be hip to the crowd on his Duets II album, featuring collaborations with Amy Winehouse and Lady Gaga. Check out what all the fuss is about Tuesday.

A never-before-seen collection of Shel Silverstein's bizarrely endearing poems and illustrations, "Every Thing On It," will be released Tuesday. If you have children who haven't been exposed to Silverstein, now's as good a time as any to widen your kid's imagination. If you don't have kids, now's as good a time to widen your own imagination.

"Glee" premieres on FOX at 8 p.m. ET, while Zooey Deschanel will follow up with the pilot of "New Girl," which was admittedly better than we expected.

Wednesday, September 21

Emmy darling "Modern Family" returns Wednesday for its third season, with a new, four-year-old Lily to boot. Tune in to see what it's like to see Baby Lily speak, and to catch up with the cast, one-fifth of whom now have Emmys, at 9 p.m. ET on ABC.

Thursday, September 22

The biggest night in television is piling on the comedies this week, with the return of "Community," "Parks and Recreation," "The Office" sans Steve Carell," and the newbie, "Whitney." Tune in at 8 p.m. ET on NBC and steamroll your way through the rest. Or if you want to mix things up, there are other networks, too. Watch Emmy Award winner Jim Parsons in "The Big Bang Theory" at 8 p.m. on CBS, or find out if "Charlie's Angels" can live up to its name at 8 p.m. ETC on ABC.

Friday, September 23

After his Parade magazine fiasco, Brad Pitt could use a script to stick to. What better time for "Moneyball" to release and get us all talking about a baseball movie with an inspiring story? Watch Pitt as an Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane, who against the constraints of the team's budget, tried to create a winning team.

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