LOADINGERROR LOADING
A lot of celebrities will be trying to monetize their fame this holiday season, and they need your help.
Yes, many of your favorites stars (as well as people you will only recognize after annoying prodding from friends, family and co-workers) are selling everything from liquor to cannabis to really big fake eyelashes to bow ties, and they want you to buy it.
Advertisement
Luckily, HuffPost has made it easier than ever to fill the coffers of your favorite celebrity. We’ve managed to select the coolest products from famous folk — all of whom should be fairly recognizable even without prodding from friends, family and co-workers.
A note of caution: Some celebrities are better than others at shameless promotion. Others just seem embarrassed. You have been warned.
Bob Dylan
HeavensDoor.com
Here's where you and I differ from branding experts. The "experts" will look at this photo and see a masterfully composed photo that suggests wisdom gained from age. You and I look at this photo and see a lonely, probably slightly irritated Nobel Prize-winner trying to avoid talking with a whiskey bottle.
Willie Nelson
As far as cannabis-loving celebs go, Willie Nelson should be on the marijuana Mt. Rushmore along with Bob Marley, Snoop Dogg and Paul McCartney. Apparently, with his new line of non-stoney coffee, he's hoping to earn the same respect from coffee drinkers.
Nick Jonas
VillaOneTequila.com
Yes, nothing says "tequila" like a photo of a former teen idol hanging out with two older guys who probably keep saying things like, "My daughters are really going to think I'm cool now." I'm sure Nick laughed the first 37 times they said it.
Advertisement
Sarah Jessica Parker
Thanks to Sarah Jessica Parker, the average American can buy the same type of sunglasses celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker wear in order to avoid being noticed in public by the average American.
Ryan Reynolds
Give Ryan Reynolds props for the slightly embarrassed look on his face as he holds up this bottle of Aviation Gin. It's as if he's saying, "Look! I'm holding what might be called a 'noun,' a word used to describe a person, place or thing."
Mike Tyson
It makes sense that Mike Tyson has his own brand of cannabis. What doesn't make sense is that he doesn't use the slogan "So stoney you might be inspired to get a very prominent facial tattoo."
Advertisement
Carson Kressley
Sleepetics.com
Give Carson Kressley credit: He's committed to the act of promotion. The product in question: bedsheets. And what does Kressley do masterfully in the promo photo? He pretends he's waking up — which is something many people do in bed. In one movement, he's gone from celeb to everyman.
Tony Hawk
It should be noted the CBD is the chemical in pot that DOESN'T get you stoned — that's THC. So when skateboarding legend Tony Hawk pushes his new CBD pain balm, ignore the fact that he looks kinda baked in the promo photo.
Kourtney Kardashian
Poosh.com
One key to a good celebrity product photo is how the celeb treats the product they're pushing. Kourtney Kardashian obviously doesn't care if she accidentally kicks this diffuser off her desk because she's a boss. However, she probably does care if you buy it. She just doesn't want to come across as desperate. Thank you for caring, Kourtney.
Advertisement
The Game
TreesByGame.com
In the future, every celebrity will have his or her own brand of cannabis. Looks like The Game is game for that to happen. Do you think he purposely goofed up the pics so he'd need retakes? Lots and lots of retakes?
Christian McCaffrey
FlagAndAnthem.com
Carolina Panthers star running back Christian McCaffrey is promoting a line of clothing for Flag & Anthem and has mastered the first part of fame: trying really hard not to awkwardly look at the cameraperson when posing for a photo. OK, maybe "mastered" is the wrong word.
Moby
Wish fullfilment is one of the main appeals of a celebrity brand. The idea that by wearing a product, you can capture the essence of a famous person's aura. That is obviously the appeal of a Moby T-shirt line. You can't look at the promo photo and not think, "Yeah, glamour."
Advertisement
Ryan Tedder Of One Republic
MadTasty.com
OK, so while some celebrities seem a little weird about actually being seen with their product, One Republic singer Ryan Tedder has no problem doing that with his hemp-infused sparkling water. Look, he's actually drinking it. What an endorsement!
Dwyane Wade
Does basketball star Dwyane Wade seem very focused and pensive in this pic? Well, there's a good reason: He's trying to figure out a way to make his colorful socks even more colorful. As if that's possible.
Ayesha Curry
One thing is clear from this promo photo: Ayesha Curry, wife of NBA star Steph Curry, is really good at sniffing things. Look at the passion she brings to whiffing the basil she presumedly grew using her branded kitchen planner. That's the mark of a pro.
Advertisement
Lenny Kravitz
SmileTwice.com
Musician Lenny Kravitz has a line of tooth care products and a huge missed opportunity: He didn't repurpose any of his hits to be a jingle. "American tooth decay! Stay away from me!" Why don't these celebrities consult with me first before doing these things?
Kevin Durant
MasterDynamic.com
Basketball star Kevin Durant makes me wonder. He's promoting these stylish noise-canceling headphones, but he still looks so sad, so depressed. It's almost as if he just discovered the headphones may cancel noise but not the day-to-day irritations that worry us so. Cheer up, Kevin: Things will get better. Maybe put some music on?
Blake Shelton
SmithworksVodka.com
"Honey, I really want to get drunk tonight but I need a brand of vodka represented by a celebrity I really trust."
"Well, Blake Shelton from 'The Voice' has a line of vodka!"
"OK. Now he's the type of All-American, upstanding celebrity who probably stands behind his product line."
"Absolutely! Look, he's holding it in this photo here and he's carefully holding it near the bottom so the consumer can see the complete label — that's a sign he cares."
"That settles it! If I'm getting shit-faced; it's Blake Shelton's booze or nothing at all!"
"Well, Blake Shelton from 'The Voice' has a line of vodka!"
"OK. Now he's the type of All-American, upstanding celebrity who probably stands behind his product line."
"Absolutely! Look, he's holding it in this photo here and he's carefully holding it near the bottom so the consumer can see the complete label — that's a sign he cares."
"That settles it! If I'm getting shit-faced; it's Blake Shelton's booze or nothing at all!"
Advertisement
Matthew McConaughey
Fernando Decillis for Wild Turkey
This photo shows Matthew McConaughey talking to Wild Turkey Master Distiller Eddie Russell.
I imagine the conversation went something like this:
Matthew McConaughey: "You see, I think bourbon would go great in bottles!"
Master Distiller Eddie Russell: "Like the one you're holding?"
MM: "You're perceptive. And I think the bourbon needs to have alcohol in it."
MDER: "You know, bourbon by its very nature already has alcohol in it."
MM: "Man, you know your stuff. Alright! Alright! Alright!"
I imagine the conversation went something like this:
Matthew McConaughey: "You see, I think bourbon would go great in bottles!"
Master Distiller Eddie Russell: "Like the one you're holding?"
MM: "You're perceptive. And I think the bourbon needs to have alcohol in it."
MDER: "You know, bourbon by its very nature already has alcohol in it."
MM: "Man, you know your stuff. Alright! Alright! Alright!"
Pharrell Williams
The man who gave the world the song "Happy" is now happy to focus on a coffee set and flatware set. The products are stored in yellow eggs that might look a little like the minions from "Despicable Me," but without the copyright violations.
Richard Sherman
Sherman Shades
What's the key to selling a celebrity brand? Commitment! You can tell this NFL football great really loves the shades that he's wearing. He's so happy!
Advertisement
Dexter Holland
Carlos Valle for Gringo Bandito
Offspring lead singer Dexter Holland is a kind man. A very kind man. He has a brand of hot sauces and each label points out that it's "easy on the pooper." To quote one of the '90s rocker's best-known songs, that's "Pretty Fly For A White Guy."
George Foreman
RTPR.com/Shane Karns
No one knows more than boxer George Foreman that a good celebrity product can change the trajectory of one's fame. He did it with the Foreman Grill and now he's hoping lightning strikes twice with his "knockout formula," which is designed to stop pain. As Foreman took his promo shot in a lab coat, it's practically a given that any claims made to the product's effectiveness are completely accurate without any hyperbole at all.
Dax Shepherd And Kristin Bell
Joyce Park for HelloBello.com
Being famous doesn't make you a better person, but celebrities are better than you at looking absolutely excited about inconsequential things like, well, celebrity diaper products. This photo of Dax Shepherd and Kristin Bell is a master class of excessive enthusiasm.
"This is so great!"
"I know, it's great, right?"
"So great! Almost fantastic!"
"It is pretty great!"
"Yep! Great!"
"This is so great!"
"I know, it's great, right?"
"So great! Almost fantastic!"
"It is pretty great!"
"Yep! Great!"
Advertisement
Jon Bon Jovi
HamptonWaterWine.com
At some point, a rock musician has to move from a life of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll to food, wine and travel. it looks like Jon Bon Jovi is doing that with a line of rosé wine named by his son, Jesse, who called it "Hampton water." At this point, I could fill out the rest of this with puns related to Bon Jovi songs, or I could just leave it .... here.
Rob Gronkowski
CBD-Medic.com
Since CBD is being pushed as a miracle cure by pretty much everyone except scientists, the challenge is figuring out the right brand. Former New England Patriots superstar Rob Gronkowski seems to like this CBD roll-on. Look at the sensuous way he puts it on a random part of his arm. Look at the loving look on his face as he slowly rubs the applicator up and down, slowly but surely. Wow. We're sold. I guess.
Dan Aykroyd
CrystalHeadVodka.com
OK. This photo is an example of what I call the "stupid soft sell." You have a bottle of vodka shaped like a skull and you try and downplay it by putting it up front, out of focus, so it doesn't seem like Dan Aykroyd is too cool to actually sell the booze he's gone to the trouble of creating. A better plan would be to show the skull bottle clearly and use this slogan: "Buy my booze or I will make another 'Blues Brothers' sequel."
Advertisement
Iván "Pudge" Rodrguez
Jonathan Zizzo for El Mayor Tequila
Typically, it's not a good idea to swing a baseball bat around glass bottles — I don't have time to explain why, just trust me. However, Hall of Famer Pudge Rodriguez would probably love you to take a swing, er, swig, of his line of celebrity tequila. Be careful, because you may need a designated driver along with a designated hitter.
Rick Ross
RichByRickRoss.com
Ah, rapper Rick Ross knows the art of subtle celebrity promotions. See how Mr. Ross holds his container of shaving cream to the camera while avoiding looking directly at the lens. This approach is perfect for people who like earning money but hate actually putting themselves out there.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
TheTieBar.com
Look at "Modern Family" star Jesse Tyler Ferguson. He and his husband are so happy he has his own brand of bow ties that confetti flew out of nowhere.
Advertisement
Kim Richards
Cannatera.com
Kim Richards isn't just a Real Housewife Of Beverly Hills. She's also an accomplished "finger gymnast" capable of holding up to three CBD-related beauty products at once. Now that's talent! Of course, if she can say the full name of CBD, we'll be really impressed.
Bella Twins
Birdiebee.com
Pro wrestlers Nikki and Brie Bella have decided to grapple with the fashion world with a line of athleisure. Apparently, buying this stuff empowers women — and certainly the bank accounts of the women marketing the stuff.
JuJu Smith-Schuster
HyperXGaming.com
It takes a special celebrity who can look cool while wearing soup-can-shaped headphones on their ears. Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Juju Smith-Schuster must be that guy, because no one else comes to mind. But again, what's with the moody look? Do pissed-off-looking celebrities do a better job of selling quality headphones than non-pissed-off-looking people? Where's the science?
Advertisement
Tinsley Mortimer
WinkyLux.com
So the reality of being a reality show star like Tinsley Mortimer is that you really have to work to monetize the fame that comes with being a reality show star like Tinsley Mortimer. What is Tinsley Mortimer, a Real Housewife of New York, doing? Looks like she's trying to become the first name in fake eyelashes.
Frank Thomas And Mo Vaughn
MVPCollections.com
Two old-school baseball players — Frank Thomas and Mo Vaughn — created a line of clothes for big and tall people. Perfect for the stylish older guy who just isn't ready to go Tommy Bahama just yet.
Related
Before You Go
