Holiday shopping presents certain challenges when you have a weird person in your life.
Try as you might, it's hard to find something suitable for that special strange person, something that will fit their suitably bizarre world view.
At HuffPost Weird News, we are amply qualified to help thanks to our extensive experience dealing with weirdos, kooks, geeks, and crazies (and that's just at staff meetings).
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Got a person obsessed with Sasquatch? We've got you covered. Same with zombie aficionados and even lovers of crime scenes and terrariums.
The one problem, of course, is that the recipient of any of these wonderfully weird gift ideas is so likely to be thrilled you got them what they want that they may want to get closer to you.
Trust us, that could be a problem. If you're willing to take that risk, check out the suggestions below.
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Before You Go
Bigfoot the Holiday Yeti Holiday Ornament
Wayfair.com
Bigfoot isn't usually associated with Christmas, but "Sasquatch" begins with the same two letters as "Santa," and both are known for their hair. So why not put the two together with this bigfoot ornament?
Santa Guinea Pig Outfit
PetSmart.com
Your guinea pig no longer has to be an outsider at Christmas thanks to this Santa Claus costume that fits snugly around his tiny torso. If your pet rodent could talk, he might say, "This outfit doesn't make me look silly." Then again, he might not.
Bearded Ski Masks
beardski.com
It seems everyone is growing a beard these days, be they craft brewers, members of ZZ Top or the Amish. The Beardskis allow people who aren't blessed with the Rutherford B. Hayes-like hirsuteness to at least look properly hairy on the slopes.
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Inflatable Santa Suit
TVStoreOnline.com
Anyone can be jolly St. Nick with this inflatable Santa suit. Inside the suit is a fan that sucks in air from the outside and fills up the costume. However, the fan can get noisy and drown out your "Ho ho hos."
Ugly Hanukkah Sweater
TVStoreOnline.com
Ugly holiday sweaters aren't just limited to Christmas themes. This Chrismukkah sweater is perfect for your multi-religion celebrations. Even better, it will burn efficiently whether put in a fireplace or over a menorah.
Donut Behind Glass
BurntImpressions.com
Even the most law-abiding person can get nervous when talking to law enforcement officials. This special artifact can let cops know you're on their side when they come to search your house.
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Pizza Slice-Shaped Bean Bag Chair
Wayfair.com
From the picture, it might look like the supersizing fad has gotten out of hand. No. This is a bean bag chair that looks like a slice of pepperoni pizza. Fitting since every slice of the real thing goes straight to your butt anyway.
Crime Scene Terrarium
ShopVault.com
It's nice to have nature in your home, but nature that comes with its own mini crime scene is so much more satisfying, isn't it?
Bacon Mug
QCIDirect.com
OK, bacon is tasty, but cleaning up the grease is a hassle. The Bacon Mug claims to make it easy. Just drape the strips over the sides of the mug. The grease then collects at the bottom of the mug and on the sides. Of course, no one is going to confuse this mug for coffee and drink it will they? Fingers crossed.
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The Beer Bell
Beerbell.com
Usually people work out in order to lose that beer gut. The Beer Bell adds to it. These three-pound weights hold a 12-ounce bottle of beer that presumedly gets lighter as the workout continues.
Revolting Christmas Pants
Betabrand.com
Ugly Christmas sweaters are so 2010. Now today's holiday hipsters are wearing pants that get in the Christmas spirit by showing Santa vomiting. To quote Tiny Tim: "God bless us everyone."
Spatty Daddy
QCIDirect.com
There is nothing more likely to make somebody yell "Humbug!" than not being able to get the last bit of ketchup or Sriracha from the bottle. The Spatty Daddy is designed to do that and therefore reduce stress and anger. I smell Nobel Peace Prize.
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Vino Vault
Vino-vault.com
Here's the great thing about the Vino Vault: The wine can't be accessed until someone solves the puzzle. Here's the problem: The wine can't be accessed until someone solves the puzzle. This is the cruelest gift you can give a boozehound.
Thor Hammer Light
3dlightfx.com
OK, it's not a hammer and that's not a real hole in the wall. It's a light that is supposed to look like the God of Thunder wrecked your home. Take it from a parent, kids love hints of destruction.
Shoe Deodorizer
QCIDirect.com
Supposedly, this device uses light to remove odor from shoes. If you keep this out where guests can see it, you'll also lose their respect.
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Oy Vey Bandana
Petco.com
If guinea pigs can dress like Santa, than surely dogs can celebrate Channukah. Any dog that wears this bandana, only available at Petco stores, is truly a mensch.
Santa Shorts
ChubbiesShorts.com
When ugly sweaters became retro-ironic, people had to move down the body to find new ways to be fashionably offensive. That's not a lump of coal hiding under these shorts, but it might as well be considering all the things wrong with them.
MySleev
MySleev.com
Carrying around tissues is such a hassle and potentially messy. It's so much more socially acceptable to wipe your snot on a modified legwarmer that fits on your arm. Wait! It's not? Darn, someone didn't get the memo.
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Justin Bieber Dog Shirt
ShopVault.com
Can't find the perfect gift for a Justin Beiber-loving dog owner? Never say never. This doggie t-shirt will make your bowser a Belieber.
The Nibble
Quirky.com
Holiday baking presents a challenge: How can you stuff your face with something you're ostensibly making for others. The Nibble baking pan solves one part of that problem by giving bakers a chance to sample the product without digging into the cake. The other solution, of course, is getting rid of those annoying friends so you can just bake for yourself.
Beer Menorah
Shmaltz Brewing Company
Hanukkah is an important Jewish holiday that celebrates a miracle where candles burned for eight days when there was only enough oil for one. The Shmaltz Brewing Company toasts this miracle with eight crazy beers turned into a menorah. Mazeltov!
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The Flyboard
http://aquaticaviation.net
Jetskis are fine for the earthbound, but the Flyboard is for those who want to soar over water. It attaches to a Jet Ski through a 65-foot hose and the power of the Jet Ski propels water out of the device. Users can fly more than 30 feet in the air. Hopefully, they come down eventually (and so will the $6,000 price tag).
The Dipr
TheDipr.com
Everyone likes the taste of cookies when dipped in milk, but dairy-product-soaked fingers are not pleasant. The Dipr attempts to remedy that problem by allowing a person to dunk the cookie without using fingers. Genius! Wonder if the inventor will tackle the Middle East Peace process next.
Purse With Secret Gun Pouch
DesignerConcealedCarry.com
This handbag not only can hold your make-up, money, phone, and other essentials, there's also a secret pouch big enough to hold a handgun.
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Customized Bobblehead Doll
http://www.bobblegr.am/christmas-bobbleheads/
Everyone says you should give of yourself during the holidays. A customized bobblehead in your likeness is the perfect way to let your friends know you care or are suffering the onset of Parkinson's disease.
Snake-shaped earbuds
TheGrommet.com
For too long, earbuds have only done one thing: Transferred music from a sound device directly to the ear. Now, they have another purpose: creeping people out. The world's a better place.
Ostrich Pillow
TheGrommet.com
Need to avoid the world but can't leave the desk? The Ostrich Pillow allows you to block out the world long enough for a cat nap. If you can't see anything, it's not really happening, right?
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Sexy Elf Costume
Rakuten.com
Do you want to turn on your sweetie and have a misguided idea on how to do so? Well, this sexy elf costume will allow you to attract the attention of Santa's north pole in a way that won't make him call you a "ho ho ho."
Meat Socks
Betabrand.com
A lot of deli meats smell like dirty feet, now these socks let feet look like deli meats. This is progress?
Shark Laser Pointer
ThinkGeek.com
Perhaps the coolest laser pointer ever made. The people you give this to will want to show it to everyone -- including those pilots flying overhead. Maybe that's not a good idea.
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Mullet Wigs
MulletOnTheGo.com
Nothing says holiday cheer like a mullet wig.Business in front, Christmas party in back.
Holiday Grumpy Cat
Deviantart.com
It is hard to buy for Internet geeks since most of what they want is free on the Internet. Still, even the pickiest meme lover will appreciate a painting of Grumpy Cat sharing his unique brand of holiday cheer.
Grass-covered Flip-flops
KusaShoes.com
In many parts of the country, it's too cold to wear flip-flops and snow is covering the grass lawns. But Kusa Shoes can help remind you of summer when you're stuck indoors during a snowstorm.
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Guinness World Records 2014
Guinness World Records
Sometimes, the person on your list isn't really that weird, but is fascinated by those who are. In that case, the Guinness World Records Book is always a safe choice. And it's inspiration to inspire them to be weirder in the new year.
