Christmas Gifts For Weird People: The Official 2014 Guide

The Official Christmas Gift Guide For The Weirdo In Your Life

It's the most wonderful time of the year and, if you're lucky, it's also the weirdest.

If it's truly the thought that counts, then you should be thinking about some strange things for the weirdo in your life.

Why not get some chocolates shaped like dog or cat poop? Or an ugly Christmas sweater showing Santa peeing in the snow?

Of course, no nutball would ever turn down a nose-shaped soap dispenser.

No matter how picky your favorite freak is, there's something for them in the annual HuffPost Weird News Christmas Gift Guide.

Santa Yoda Yard Ornament
On your yard put this Yoda ornament.It's a sure way to force your interest in sci-fi on the neighbors.
Gun Lamp
The Bill of Rights not only guarantees the right to bear arms, but it allows Americans the right to have lamps with gun-shaped bases.Regardless of where your views fall in the gun rights battle, it's safe to say there are many Americans who would love to use this for target practice.
The best products solve a problem that is plaguing mankind, and so do the weirdest products. The Moguard solves the pesky problem of beer suds soaking your cool mustache. Be careful: Too many craft beers at the local hipster bar and you may forget to bring your beer-soaked $9 Moguard home. Oh, that's probably what the manufacturer is hoping.
Lighted Fireplace Sweater
Going to an ugly Christmas sweater party this year? This is the guaranteed winner. Simply download a burning fireplace app to the your iPad and stick in the pouch around your tummy.You can put something else on the screen, but then you will look like a Teletubby, not a fireplace.
Baby Santa Beanie And Beard
Take it from a parent: You have one Christmas, maybe two where the kid is unable to really object to the humiliating outfits you may put on them. Make the most of this time, by making the little nipper where this Santa beard and hat. You can say you just want to keep the child warm, but you're not fooling anyone.
Old Man Peeing Liquor Beverage Dispenser
If you're like us, you believe that liquor tastes best when dispensed from the genitalia of an old man statue.Make sure you tell the person you're giving it to, "Hey, urine for a treat."
Guinea Pig Candy Cane Headband
Buying holiday-appropriate presents for guinea pigs and their owners has been difficult in the past. PetSmart seems to be making up for this consumer product hole with these candy cane antlers. Don't have a guinea pig? Catch a rat in the garage. It won't mind being pushed into service.
Yellow Snow Sweater
If you want to take the piss out of the holidays, this is the perfect sweater.
Pre-stained Underwear
Julian Molinero/ Realm 29 Films.
You have to be unusually close to a person for underwear to be an appropriate Christmas gift. And it's definitely a weird relationship if they give you underwear that includes a pre-stained skidmark on the back.Some gifts are better opened in private.
Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser
Let's face it: Getting gel in the shower is a hassle. You risk back injury bending over to get the bottle on the floor or waste valuable shelf space that could be used for hair conditioner.This Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser sticks on the wall, thus saving space. The fact that it looks like a nose oozing strange-colored mucous is just icing on the cake.
Pet Poop-Shaped Candy
Chocolate is a great gift, but can seem a little generic.If you buy candy shaped like dog and cat poop, there is no doubt that your loved ones will know you were thinking of them (whether or not they like what you were thinking is not your problem).And unlike normal pet poop, this product is endorsed by a celebrity --- former 'Brady Bunch' cast member Susan Olsen -- so it has to be good (or at least not taste like actual animal feces).
Twirling Spaghetti Fork
If you're like us (and, hopefully, you're not), you've never been able to master the act of twirling spaghetti on a fork. Thank goodness for technology. This handy-dandy battery-operated fork does the work for you so you don't have to look more foolish than you already do.
Santa Sleigh That Fits On Pet's Back
You know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, but do you recall the time Santa used your dog to deliver his presents?Neither do I, but this Santa Ride-Along Costume can turn your pooch into a temporary reindeer. That is, unless he turns around and pulls the thing off with his teeth.
Hip Hop Chocolates
The cost of getting someone two turntables and a microphone could make a dent on your holiday gift budget, but these hip hop chocolates that come in the shapes of cassette tapes, soundboards and boom boxes will be a sweet alternative.
Moose Mitt
Oven mitts are a basic product: A glove that is able to handle hot temperatures. Utlitarian, but boring.That is, unless your oven mitt comes in the shape of a moose head. Think of all the fun you'll have imitating Bullwinkle as you pull the turkey out of the oven.Think of all the irritation your loved ones will experience after the second time you imitate Bullwinkle as you pull the turkey out of the oven.
Ring With A Mohawk On It
Jewelry is always appreciated, but it's not always edgy enough for some people.Thank goodness for the Punckette, the first ring I've seen with a mohawk. It's a stylish way to tell the world, "I don't need to follow your false rules about what really matters! Can you lend me a dollar so I can buy antiseptic for my new belly ring?"
Polaroid Toilet Dispenser
Toilet dispensers are basic enough, but their design causes people to argue over whether the roll should go over the top or not.The Polaroid Toilet Paper Holder solves that by housing the roll in a replica of an old school camera.Now the big argument won't be about the toilet roll but whether or not the holder is secretly taking pictures.
Santa Tuna Fishing Inflatable
Santa may only work one day a year, but that doesn't mean he doesn't daydream about his vacation.Unlike those boring old conventional inflatables that feature Santa on his sleigh, this inflatable puts him on a boat fishing marlin. One word of warning: It doesn't float very well. Yeah, we tried it. Yeah, we know we're idiots.
Guitar Made Out Of Oil Can
Recycling rocks, especially this guitar.Bohemian Guitars use an old oil can for the body and the result is a cool-looking instrument that is also helpful for the environment. The can is hollow and has a screw-off top, making it perfect for smuggling things when you're on tour, man.One drawback: The oil can is wider than most guitars and that can make your beer belly look even bigger when you're onstage.
Uncorked Board Game
Chances are, you may get more than a few bottles of wine for Christmas. That's perfect for this boozy board game where legal adults try and come up with bizarre ways to describe the wine they're drinking.Hopefully, it doesn't last as long as, say, Monopoly, because there is some DUI potential if that's the case.
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