Trust Us ... Your Mom Really Wants A Mermaid Tail

Check out the Weird News Mother's Day Gift Guide

The first rule of gift giving is, "It's the thought that counts."

That rule always seems to be tossed out around Mother's Day.

Instead of picking gifts that are truly indicative of a mom's quirky personality, people chicken out and go for the boring old flowers, jewelry or crowded dinners at a chain restaurant.

Even if you haven't thought much about what your mom wants, HuffPost Weird News has.

We've tracked down the strangest, weirdest Mother's Day gifts available, items that will prove you understand your mom better than anyone else.

(Disclaimer: HuffPost Weird News is not responsible for any negative reaction that may occur when your mom actually receives your Mother's Day gift.)

Mermaid Fish Tail
Your mom won't have to fish for compliments when she shows up at the pool in a mermaid fish tail. It comes complete with flippers. Yeah, walking around is a little difficult, but put her on a rock near the ocean and she'll be fine.(, $140)
Otto The Otter Tape Dispenser
Your mom has suffered with a boring looking tape dispenser long enough. If you really care about her, you otter get her one shaped like an otter. Just because.(, $14.99)
Creepy Clown Purse
Sure, some people find clowns creepy, but this clown purse serves a utilitarian purpose for moody moms. One side shows a clown in despair while the other one shows a smiling face. You could ascertain your mom's current opinion of your life choices by seeing which clown she shows the world. (, $99.95)
Cat-Shaped Tissue Holder
If your mom is a cat lady, she is sure to love this tissue dispenser where the Kleenex comes out of the cat's behind. She will never guess it's also a subtle dig at her lifestyle choices. That's our secret. Promise.(, $29.95)
Cheeseburger Beach Towel
Not even a vegan mom can have a beef with this thick, juicy, meat beach towel. (, $29.95)
X-Files Prayer Candle
The truth is out there for the couch potato mom. What better way to let her know you care by giving her prayer candles dedicated not to religious figures, but to "The X-Files," a show people watched religiously back in the 1990s. (, $26)
Penguin Pajamas
The great thing about getting your mom penguin pajamas for Mother's Day is that she'll always look dressed up, no matter what time it is. (, $54.99)
Albert Einstein Cornhole Set
Albert Einstein not only came up with the theory of relativity, but he also posed for one of the great tongue photos ever made. What better way to honor this great man than by attempting to throw bean bags into the top of his skull. Just tell Mom the "M" in "E = MC2" stands for "Mother."(, $169)
As you get older, comfort becomes more important than style. That's why your mom is more likely to appreciate and use things like the Nubrella, an umbrella worn backpack style. On the downside, people may steer clear of her when she wears it in public (like the dog in the photo).(, $59.99)
Although a lot of moms worry about the turkey neck look that comes with getting older, plastic surgery is expensive. For those people, there is the Nexsey, a medical tape product that tightens the neckline by pulling back on the loose flesh dangling around it. (, $19.99)
Sloth Earrings
Now hear this: Anyone can give their mom earrings for Mother's Day. How many people have the guts to give her earrings with sloths on them? No one. You are sure to be in her thoughts this Mother's Day, even if it's just, "Why did my kid get me something so weird?" (, $22.99)
Coffee Mugs Showing Attacks By UFOs, Bigfoot, Dinosaurs
If that morning cup of coffee gets Mom agitated, why not amp things up even more by having her sip that java in a cup decorated with all sorts of horrendous disasters including attacks by UFOs, Bigfoot and robots? Mmm, that's damn good coffee.(, $48 for four cups)
Big Girl Panties Flask Necklace
Need something for the mom who likes jewelry, booze and female empowerment? It's all here in one flask necklace. The flask is much tinier than in the photo, but it does hold at least some booze while promoting a message of self-help sure to appeal to the woman who gave you life. (, $22.99)
Black Skull Purse
Was your mom one of the goth kids back in college? Help her celebrate those days when she'd smoke cloves while reciting bad poetry at the coffee house with this black skull purse.None of the other moms will dare bug her at the PTA meeting. (, $48.99)
Weird Tales Shower Curtain
Your mother won't tell you this so I will: She's living a lie. She may pretend she likes that patterned shower curtain with the flowers on it, but that's because she's never known anything else. She never realized it was possible to get a curtain featuring the cover of a cheesy Sci-Fi magazine instead. She needs to know that she can and she needs to hear it from you. (, $58.95)
Lego Family Portrait
Anyone who has ever tried to take a family portrait knows it's a challenge -- and the smiles all look fake. For $5 and up, you can get a family portrait using Lego Minifigures as stand-ins for everyone. Of course, the smiles will still look fake, but you can't have everything.(, $5 and up)
Emergency Toilet Set
Going to the bathroom in an unfamiliar place can leave Mom down in the dumps. This portable toilet can withstand up to 250 pounds and will go anywhere your mom goes. Er, that came out wrong. It's nice and handy for homes with only one bathroom during those "peak" times. (, $30.99)
Dynatrap Insect Zapper
Planning on seeing Mom on Mother's Day? Great, but, depending on where you live, she could also be visited by annoying flies, bugs and mosquitos. You can help Mom from being bugged with an extendable insect zapper that will short circuit the insects before they get too close.
(, $19.99)
Pickle Juice Sport Drink
If your mom is a fitness nut, she probably sucks down sports drinks that are supposed to keep her hydrated. Problem is, those drinks are full of sugar. Not so with Pickle Juice Sport, a briny sports drink which packs its electrolytes in water and vinegar. Mmmm, brine. Truth be told, your mom may just use it as a mixer instead. (, $24.99 per 12-pack)
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