Have we reached peak zombie?
It might seem that way based on the weird products that are being marketed for Halloween this year.
Seems every other item has a zombie connection. There are zombie bottle openers, zombie poop candy, zombie versions of the American Gothic painting and even a chiazombie.
Don't get us started on the Zombie Hot Dog costume.
We could have done a whole list of zombie-themed Halloween products, but that would have left out the many other tasteless costumes and products that definitely qualify as weird.
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Now, if you'll excuse us, there's an inflatable sex doll costume we have to try on.
Cheeseburger Head Mask
AlwaysFits.com
This cheeseburger mask is perfect if you're doing a haunted house geared toward vegans. If people ask what you are (as if it's not obvious), tell them, "I am what I eat."
Breathalyzer Costume
HalloweenCostumes.com
Nothing says, "I have class" like this Breathalyzer Costume.
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Creepy Bear That Eats Its Own Heart
SpiritHalloween.com
Halloween wouldn't be the same if there wasn't a haunted stuffed animal that appears to eat its own internal organs while spouting bad puns.
Junk Mail
HalloweenCostumes.com
You can't tell from the photo, but a giant phallus (supplied) pops out of the strategic opening of the Junk Mail costume. Certainly, wearing this costume in public will not affect people's opinions of you whatsoever. People just aren't that judgmental. Not.
Swanky Talking Pornstache
BigMouthToys.com
If you're too shy to sexually harass women at Halloween parties, let this talking mustache do your (very) dirty work for you. Press a button and the mustache says something really tacky or really tasteless -- or both. A word of warning: "It wasn't me, it was my mustache" may not be an acceptable defense.
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TV Dinner Gumballs
AlwaysFits.com
If you really want to trick trick-or-treaters, treat them to these bizarrely-flavored gumballs. The apple cobbler flavor is decent, but the roast beef gumball is just as vile as you'd imagine.
Gorilla Girlfriend Costume
BuyCostumes.com
It's fun to dress up cute and sexy at a Halloween party, but dealing with the lousy pickup techniques of men with talking pornstaches can get old. Luckily, this Gorilla Girlfriend outfit can subtly tell people you're already taken ... up to the top of the Empire State Building.
Candy Urine, Saliva And Blood
CandyWarehouse.com
Usually, candy is the least scary thing on Halloween. However, candy versions of bodily fluids are sure to gross out even the most jaded candy seekers. To be fair, the cherry-flavored blood is pretty good.
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Hashtag Costume
HalloweenCostumes.com
"Gee, Madge, I just can't come with an idea for a trendy yet lame Halloween costume. Everything seems creative and clever.""Why don't you go as a hashtag?""Hmm, sounds dull, but how do I do it?""You put a giant hashtag symbol on your body.""That's it? How lame is that?""I know! Perfect, right?""Yes, it's the perfect costume to express my apathy with Halloween and life in general."
I Don't Want To Grow Up Costume
BuyCostumes.com
This is the perfect costume for any mama's boy, but there is a caveat: While some dates might find it cute, they may be put off trying to kiss you with that creepy old lady between you.
Halloween Horror Apron
PartyCheap.com
Looking for the perfect gift for the chef in your life? This apron is bloody perfect. Plus, no one will dare question your knife skills when you're wearing it.
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Zombie Bottle Opener
Wayfair.com
Sure, a zombie bottle opener might seem creepy, but, luckily, most beers just have heads, not brains.
Genie Magic Lamp
HalloweenCostumes.com
This genie costume is perhaps the most subtle Halloween costume on the list. Not. Please let us know if you get your wish.
Bert Skin Suit
HalloweenCostumes.com
Sometimes, the scariest costumes aren't intended that way. Certainly, the person who designed this adult costume of Bert from Sesame Street didn't intend it to be so creepy. At least, I hope not.
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Zombie American Gothic
Wayfair.com
This zombiefied version of the classic painting puts the "goth" in "American Gothic."
Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
SpiritHalloween.com
Every year, a certain subset of the female population seeks a Halloween costume that will sexify a beloved pop culture icon. Although this Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume seems cute, be prepared to be asked, "When are you going to come out of your shell?" all night long.
Double Occupancy Outfit
BuyCostumes.com
People who wear costumes like this usually want to get lucky. They never do. Not even a $5 winning lottery ticket.
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Inflatable Doll
HalloweenCostumes.com
"Gee Madge. I just can't find a Halloween costume creepy enough for me.""Why don't you go as a female inflatable sex doll?""That's perfect. It suggests sex without being sexy in any way shape or form.""Happy to help."
Shark Shirt
BuyCostumes.com
This shark shirt is perfect for the person who wishes "shark week" was a year-long affair.
Zombie Gnombie Statue
Wayfair.com
If you ever wonder what the Travelocity gnome looks like after a weekend in Las Vegas, this "gnombie" statue provides a clue.
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Raspberry-Chocolate Brains
TheFrostedPetticoat.com
Women love chocolate probably as much as zombies love brains. So if you're trying to woo a female zombie, these raspberry-chocolate candy brains should make you stand out from the crowd of other undead suitors.
Chia Zombie
www.Chiazombie.com
A chia zombie might freak out anybody with half a brain. Mmm, bra-a-ains, but a certain demographic might find this chia product even scarier.
Bearded Dragon Costume
Petsmart.com
Most of the literature regarding bearded dragons fails to mention if the reptilian creatures are interested in dressing up for Halloween. However, you're bigger than them and if you want to dress them up as dragons, they probably don't have much choice.
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Bullet Hole Pillow Cases
PillowDecor.com
Decorating your house for Halloween should be more than just a few banners, fake cobwebs and skull-shaped punch bowl. These throw pillows with bullet holes will add a nice touch of danger to the proceedings. Plus, the only thing that gets rid of a bad ghost is a good ghost with a gun.
Haunted Lamp
SpiritHalloween.com
This lamp is scary in two ways: 1) It looks as if there is an actual ghost in the shade. 2) It will go with absolutely nothing in your house, unless it is actually haunted (in which case, you don't need to spend extra money on a haunted appliance).
Zombie Phone Holder
Wayfair.com
A zombie phone holder is a great place to put your phone if it goes, uh, dead.
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Gummy Heart
CGets.com
If you can overlook the possible diabetic coma, this cherry-flavored gummy heart could be a heartfelt gift. If you can stop squeezing it to mimic a real beating heart (and you can't).
Gender Doubting Thomas
PuppetTerrors.com/
Doing a haunted house and want to perform a creepy puppet show? How about making "Gender Doubting Thomas" the star? It beats Punch and Judy.
Mac-N-Cheese Costume
BuyCostumes.com
Halloween costumes allow us to be what we secretly wish to be. Woe to the person who secretly wants to be a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
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