17 Terribly Weird Alcoholic Beverages You Should Know About

Uh ... bottom's up?

Beer? Jägerbombs? Cocktails?! Eh. Those are so last year. Why not give these 17 super bizarre beverages and concoctions a chance. Some may sound appetizing, while others, um ... you'd probably have to be drunk to down.

Cheers, daredevil.

Naga Chilli Vodka
Master of Malt
Touted as the world's hottest vodka, Naga Chilli Vodka claims to be 250,000 scovilles ~hot~. Per the maker's product description, it's "so horrendous we suggest you don’t even purchase it." 🔥
The Mac & Cheese 'Shot'
the mac and cheese
Take your favorite age-old recipe -- macaroni, milk, Velveeta -- add some rum and be sure to keep out of reach of children.
Smoker's Cough
Smoking is bad for you. This vile shot, mixing Jägermeister with mayonnaise, can't be much better.
Baby Mice Wine
Traditionally a "health tonic" in Chinese and Korean cultures, baby mice are taken shortly after birth and dropped alive into a jug of rice wine and left to ferment. After the wine is imbibed, the mice are eaten. Yes, in real life.
Eggermeister
This is a pickled egg soaked in Jäger, then placed in a glass, which is then filled with more Jäger. Think very carefully: Is a pickled egg ever an ingredient in anything you've willingly consumed? It's an important question.
Three-Penis Liquor
Well, this gives a whole new meaning to "drinking the hard stuff." This cocktail, containing seal penis, deer penis and Cantonese dog penis, is believed to increase potency and virility in males, according to Foodbeast. Just make sure you chase this one down with a breath mint.
Scorpion Vodka
As if vodka needed a real edible Chinese-bred scorpion to sting the palate even more, you can use this vodka in a mixed drink or take it straight up. The eight-legged critter is said to "add a subtle woody taste." Yum.
Pizza Beer
It's not just a pizza with a beer. It's PIZZA BEER, like in your dreams. A Chicago brewery mixed together two consumer favorites to create this (prize winning?) epic combination.
Prairie Chicken
This gin, raw egg yolk and salt and pepper concoction is an alternative to the Prairie Oyster (bourbon, Tabasco sauce and a raw egg), though they both sound awful.
Beer & Milk (Horse Jizz)
50% beer, 50% milk -- 100% terrible. Two ingredients never meant to be mixed and a drink that should never be uttered.
Snake Bile Wine
Get yourself a live cobra, cut him open, remove his gallbladder and extract the sweet, sweet bile. Mix that with rice wine and serve to anyone who enjoys harnessing the power of cobra bile.
Tapeworm Shot
All you need is vodka, Tabasco sauce and a squeeze from a mayonnaise bottle. Though, really, "Squeeze from a mayonnaise bottle" is easily the worst five-word phrase in history.
Kumis/Arkhi
Unless you're the Dude, a milk-based beverage probably isn't going to be your drink of choice most nights. Not so for the horsemen of central Asia. A traditional dairy drink (made of fermented mare's milk) that's been enjoyed for centuries, kumis has been compared to drinkable yogurt.
Infected Whitehead Shot
The name alone might make you pass out. Simply swirl vodka with a Bloody Mary mix and a spoonful of cottage cheese, and do your best to hold it down.
The Sourtoe Cocktail
Are you up for a sip made of Yukon Gold whiskey and a MUMMIFIED HUMAN TOE? The Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, Yukon, has made a name for itself with this cocktail. To get the full experience, patrons are encouraged to let the toe touch their lips as they finish the morbid beverage.
The Kim Jong Un Nuclear Bomb
What better way to stick it to the North Korean dictator than to throw the most American of food items into a blender -- precisely, 1 Big Mac, 1 McDonald's large fries, 1 McDonald's tangy BBQ sauce, 1 McDonald's milk shake (all flavors) and 1 McDonald's apple pie -- with vodka?!

Don't watch it being made and consumed.
Gilpin Family Whisky
This concoction is the artistic statement of James Gilpin and isn't sold in stores, sadly. Gilpin takes the urine of two elderly diabetic patients daily, extracts the high sugar content, then uses that sugar in the fermentation of whisky production.

Naturally.

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